Have you ever thought about trying something new or different but decided not to try at all because you were afraid? If so, you may have a phobia. Having a phobia is very common amongst people. Some people are afraid of snakes or spiders, others tight spaces or heights. One phobia that is not discussed enough, and might apply to you, is atychiphobia. This is the abnormal, unwarranted and persistent fear of failure.
The fear of failure often varies in extremity from person to person, but almost all people have experienced this before. We all have experienced the fear of rejection in interviews or are scared of being told that our work is not great, which is very normal. It is normal for us to be afraid of being told that we are less than perfect. It is also normal for us to want to be told that we are spectacular and do not need any improvement. However, that is not reality. Oftentimes, we know that we are not perfect and are scared of hearing it from others. To avoid this from happening, we often let our fear stop us from acting and this causes us to miss opportunities.
To understand how to overcome a fear of failure, we must first understand what “failure” is. Everyone has a different definition of failure, based on their beliefs, values and lifestyles. A failure for one person might be seen as a learning opportunity for another. Each person will look at failure differently.
I am someone who is very hard on myself and definitely has a fear of failure. Being a perfectionist, I always want to be or do the best. It is hard for me to accept that I might not be good at something or that I might need improvement. I first learned that I suffered from atychiphobia when I was very young. Like so many other five-year-olds at the time, I played peewee soccer. In my first ever match, I scored several goals and thought I was the best that ever stepped on the field. At my next match, I expected a similar situation. You could imagine my devastation when the opposing team scored on me. I had a total meltdown, and I declared to my parents that I would not play soccer ever again. For the next couple of seasons, I would not even step on the field. In my mind, if I never played again, I could not lose. I let the fear of failure keep me from playing a sport that I enjoyed. Once I finally started playing again, it still took me years to learn how to accept my own failure. I had to learn how to fail in order to work harder towards winning.
Because I am someone who deals with a fear of failure, I have had to learn how to accept that failure is not the “end of the world.” For people who deal with this, there are several ways to overcome your fear of failing:
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If your fear of failure stems from fear of the unknown, try analyzing all possible outcomes. By considering all the outcomes of your decisions, you can help minimize the fear you may be feeling.
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A simple way to help with this fear is thinking positive. By thinking about your situation in a positive light, you can help grow your self-confidence and lower your chances of self-sabotage.
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One phrase that you hear often when trying to overcome this phobia is “it’s not the end of the world.” It really isn’t. If you are afraid of failure, just consider the worst-case scenario. You will be pleasantly surprised to see how much you worked up the situation in your mind.
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Lastly, if you think you are going to fail, come up with another plan. It does not hurt to know that you have something to fall back on if things do not work out. This may help with stressful situations.
Being afraid of failure is very normal, but we do not want to let it control us and keep us from trying new things. We do not want to let fear hold us back, then regret not doing something later. Failure is normal. It is okay to accept the fact that we are not perfect. That is what makes us human. It is from our failures that we learn how to grow and become better individuals. Instead of running from failure, accept and own it. Do not let your fear of failing own you.