As a senior in college, I have been reflecting on the last four years: the places I have seen, the people I have met and the things I wish had gone differently. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is that friendships are not always meant to last forever, and that is okay.Â
Most people you meet in life will not stick around until the end, and it is unrealistic to expect that. Nevertheless, I am convinced we meet people for a reason. Just because you ultimately grow apart does not mean those people did not impact your life.Â
When I first arrived on campus, I was convinced that every close friendship I formed would be permanent. I poured my energy into maintaining those relationships, often at the expense of my well-being. I tried to be agreeable, to stay neutral and to avoid drama. I forgave people who did not deserve it, or ask for it, simply because I wanted to be what I considered a good friend. I held on tight to people who were actively hurting me because I was more scared of the alternative: losing a friend.Â
There have been friendships I fought to keep despite clear signs that they were no longer healthy. Whether it was one-sided effort, mismatched priorities or simply a lack of mutual respect, I found myself clinging to connections that no longer served me. The idea of letting go of friends felt like failure: as if it was a reflection of my own shortcomings rather than just a fact of life.Â
Over time, I realized that some friendships naturally fade, not because of conflict or wrongdoing, but because people grow in different directions. At first, I struggled with this reality, feeling guilty about drifting apart from people I once considered essential to my life. But as I had more varied experiences and gained perspective, I began to understand that choosing peace sometimes means letting go. In learning to prioritize my peace, I learned that not every friendship is meant to be lifelong, and letting go of relationships can be an act of self-care, not defeat.
I have gotten better at prioritizing my well-being over the happiness of those around me. I will never be able to please everyone, but I can always choose to focus on my own happiness. Choosing peace means setting boundaries, no longer being a pushover and putting my mental health first. Choosing peace also means learning to walk away without guilt. It is okay to back away from situations that no longer serve you, and doing so does not mean you are betraying a past version of yourself or the history of that friendship.Â
At the same time, I have learned the importance of nurturing the friendships that truly matter. Some people come into your life and stay, offering support, understanding and consistency through life’s ups and downs. These are the relationships worth investing in — the ones where both people put in effort, communicate openly and genuinely care for each other’s growth. Recognizing the difference between friendships that uplift and those that drain has allowed me to be more intentional with my time and emotional energy.
As I have matured and navigated early adulthood, I have come to realize that adult friendships are actually not difficult to maintain. Obviously, they require effort, but meaningful friendships should never feel like a burden. It is not hard to show your friends that you care about them, to check in and be kind, to make plans and to nurture the relationship.Â
In my early twenties, I now see friendship not as a numbers game but as a matter of quality over quantity. The fear of loneliness once made me hesitant to let go of certain people, but now I understand that peace comes from choosing relationships that align with who I am and where I am going.Â
Since freshman year of college, I have had many meaningful experiences alone, or with people whom I only knew briefly. I studied abroad, went on immersion trips and joined new clubs. I became more comfortable with myself and realized that just because experiences or acquaintances were temporary did not make them any less significant. I no longer fear being alone, because I have realized that I prefer my own company to that of people who do not respect me.Â
Losing friends has taught me that growth sometimes means outgrowing relationships, and choosing peace means embracing change rather than resisting it. It is okay for your priorities to shift, to recalculate what is best for you in life and to choose healthy options, even if it means painful goodbyes with people who are holding you back. Friendships are important, but they should never consume your whole world.
As I prepare to leave college and step into the next chapter of my life, I do so with gratitude for all the friendships — past and present — that have shaped me. Some have lasted, and others have not, but each has played a role in my journey. As I continue forward, I remind myself that choosing peace will always be more important than holding onto something that no longer fits.