Having confidence in yourself is the best feeling in the world. Many people highlight the importance of having self-confidence, but they never really explain HOW to build up that confidence. In this article, I will give tips on what worked for me. How you can hold yourself actionable, steps on how to build confidence and never doubt yourself again.
- Avoid Negative Self-Talk
The first step is to build a healthier mindset by viewing yourself in a positive way. NEVER, and I mean NEVER speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Many people make comments like, “I’m so dumb,” when they make a mistake or they’re struggling with a task. However, harsh criticism is never helpful.
- Embrace Imperfection
We are all imperfect, and that is okay. Never put yourself down, and instead shift those negative thoughts into positive frameworks of thinking. Focus on learning and improving as a person, now that is the main key in building confidence… actually seeing self-improvements. For example, instead of saying “I’m dumb because I failed an exam,” try:
- “I didn’t do as well as I wanted to on this exam. What can I do better next time?” (Now, you’re actually analyzing what happened and can make an action plan to improve for next time).
- “What did I do well on?” (This allows you to focus on the positive since we sometimes overlook it).
- “Did I use my resources effectively?” (Could you have gone to office hours, tutoring, sacrificed an hour of fun to study?)
- The Power of Positive Language
Never – and I mean NEVER speak negatively about yourself out loud. Even if it starts as a joke, overtime, you may start to believe those harsh words. Instead make it a habit of using positive and constructive language when talking about yourself. You can say “Yes, I failed this exam, but that does not define who I am as a person. I still have friends and family who love me. I have my favorite hobbies that make me happy. Instead of focusing on what goes wrong, maybe I should focus on what went right, and find a solution to improve next time.Maybe failing the math exam doesn’t mean you’re dumb; you could just be better at writing than math. There are some people who study STEM and have a hard time writing a proper essay without grammatical errors. Then, there are others who are great at both… everyone is different! You can’t be the greatest at everything, but trust that your strengths will overpower your weaknesses. You are still a valuable member to society.
- Focus on Growth
By consistently speaking positively and focusing on self-improvement, you’ll notice that negative thoughts fade away. Overtime, your mindset will shift, and you’ll be more focused on growth and success rather than self-criticism. By focusing on yourself, you won’t even have time to compare yourself to others. You will be happy by every goal and milestone you have achieved.