Since entering college, it has taken me time to find balance and learn to be at peace with my soul. Last year, I turned 20 and was in search of my purpose. I’m glad to say that I have finally found it but the path was not always clear. For the longest time I didn’t know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life; where I wanted to work, my purpose, my dreams, etc.
I realized that most of us are eager for a change in our 20s. Our dreams, goals, and interests are subject to change as we experience life, people, and the simplest pleasures. Just because a path feels right doesn’t mean there won’t be obstacles along the way.
In 2022, I have focused on leaving negative energy and intangible anxieties of the past and future to be where my feet are; put my phone down and lookup. In no way am I saying I feel this way 24/7; it’s common to feel anxiety creep up on you now and again, but this gets you one step closer to seeing beyond your anxiety and navigating ways to move past them.
In recent years, mental health has been an expanding topic of interest for individuals in their 20s looking to “find themselves,” instead of accepting and discovering the person they already are.
A friend once asked me what keeps me going. I’d never been asked this before but I knew exactly what to say; the unknown and excitement of what’s to come.
Here are a few practices and lessons I have used to slow down and put my soul at ease:
- Daily Routine:
- Purpose: having a routine can bring your soul peace of mind and allow you to enjoy the simplest pleasures of life.
- Something for your soul
- Stillness, journaling, meditation, etc.
- First Steps:
- Try waking up 15 minutes before you’re planning to start your day to appreciate the stillness and silence of the morning.
- Try to avoid going on your phone or laptop.
- Take in a few deep breaths to slowly awaken your mind, body, and soul.
- Something for your body
- Go for a walk to take in the fresh air, wake up your body, and get your heart pumping.
- Other forms: gym, yoga, pilates, hiking, etc.
- Something for your mind
- Do one thing a day that makes you happy and allows you to expand your mind (interests outside of work)
- Reading articles, talking to strangers, books, watching Ted Talks, painting, etc.
- Learn from others’ experiences:
- Experiences are invaluable. Take the time to get to know people; everyone has their own journey and interesting stories to tell.
- Do one thing a day that makes you happy and allows you to expand your mind (interests outside of work)
- Meditating: 1-2 Times Daily
- Purpose – Practice mindfulness and living in the present by slowing your mind down.
- Find your safe space
- I feel most calm and peaceful outside, surrounded by nature.
- For SJSU students, I’d recommend finding “your space” on-campus. One that makes you feel safe, welcome, and brings you joy (mine is Tower Lawn).
- Getting Started:
- Try sitting still and allowing your muscles to relax.
- You may choose to lay down, sit with your legs crossed, etc.
- Close your eyes or leave them open (whatever works best for you).
- Focus your mind on four senses –
- What sounds surround you?
- Birds chirping, people chatting, cars, the wind whistling, and leaves rustling.
- What do you smell?
- Take a deep breath of fresh air and carry it deep into your lungs.
- Recognize the smells that surround you – crisp air and freshly cut grass.
- What do you see?
- Birds hopping around, people walking, and trees swaying.
- What do you feel?
- The cool air touching your skin and the grass beneath you.
- What sounds surround you?
- Journaling: 1-2 Times Daily
- Purpose – Evokes mindfulness and helps you sort through your inner thoughts and anxieties; speak to your soul.
- Tips:
- Try not to filter yourself.
- Your journal is your own; only you have insight into the inner workings of your mind.
- Write a letter to yourself, an old friend, or the past to move beyond negative energies and experiences.
- Your journal is your safe space. Make it what you will.
- 7 Logics:
- Purpose – Allows you to find peace emotionally with your past, present, and future. Use these logics to navigate your daily challenges.
- Make peace with your past so it doesn’t spoil your present.
- There is no point in dwelling on the past when there’s so much to be excited about in the present. Journaling, therapy, and meditation are great ways to move forward and see beyond past experiences, people, and trauma.
- What others think of you is none of your business.
- No one knows you better than yourself. People may think they know you, but you know who you are and your true intentions. Some individuals that cross your path may not appreciate you the way you, your friends, or family do. Try not to fixate on these meaningless opinions.
- Time heals almost everything.
- Be compassionate towards yourself. There is no singular path to coping or moving beyond your past, but time will give you what you need to heal. During this time, it’s okay to feel your emotions. Suppressing them may only make it harder to move past them now and in the future.
- No one is the reason for your happiness except yourself.
- “Be the master wherever you go. Then, wherever you find yourself, things will be as they truly are” – Shunmyo Masuno.
- Find a home in yourself; comfort, safety, consistency, and love. You may not believe it, but you are enough to be content in your life. Wherever you go, your being and home will follow.
- Don’t compare your life with others, you have no idea what their journey is all about.
- Social media has certainly escalated this quality of ours; making it difficult to enjoy our lives when you believe someone is possibly living a better one. At the end of the day, what people choose to do with their lives is their own journey. What you see is what they want you to see. You never know what obstacles they’re facing.
- Stop thinking too much, it’s okay not to know all the answers.
- Get out of your head. You don’t need all the answers at once. You’ll find the answer eventually. If you overthink the answer, you may always be searching for it and forget to live in the present. What’s exciting about life is what’s to come; don’t rush your journey.
- Smile, you don’t own all the problems in the world.
- Everyone has problems. No matter what they are, we all handle our emotions differently.Be aware of what you have focus on the positives. Smile every now and again.
- Therapy
- Purpose: Help you grow and work through emotional difficulties and mental health illnesses, including but not limited to anxiety and depression.
- No one can tell you to go to therapy, you have to make that decision on your own; it’s your mental health journey.
- Tips:
- Set your intentions – What do you want to gain from therapy? If you don’t know, that’s okay, your therapist will help you navigate your journey.
- Try journaling before therapy and reading what you’ve written to your therapist. It may ease the pain of sharing personal trauma and experiences with a stranger.
- It is okay if you don’t click with the first therapist you talk to. It’s normal to not feel that connection, but make sure to give them a chance. Ask for referrals or search the web to find a therapist that aligns with your goals.
- Building a bond with your therapist takes time.
- Tips:
Don’t know how to begin your therapy journey? Here are some resources to get started:
- Find a Therapist
- SJSU CAPs
- On-campus or virtual
- LGTC Group
- One-on-one Therapy
- Group Therapy
- Psychotherapy
- Better Help
- Affordable
- Fill out a questionnaire to get matched with one of 20,000 licensed therapists.
- Message your therapist whenever and wherever!
- Talk Space
- Online therapy
- SJSU CAPs
- Instagram pages to check out
- Inclusive Therapists – features therapists of color, resources, and more!
- Brown Girl Therapy
- Podcasts to check out
If you’re looking to explore zen living and more of these practices, I’d recommend reading The Art of Simple Living by Shunmyo Masuno. I hope these practices and lessons bring you peace of mind and help you navigate your 20s.
Let us know what you think by tagging us @HerCampusSJSU!