My life was turned upside down when I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes on December 11, 2019. Not only did my diagnosis force me to confront my biggest fear of needles, it forced me to reconsider my entire lifestyle. I was the girl who sat in CVS, holding my mom’s hand, bawling over a flu shot. A flu shot! And now, I was being told to inject insulin after every meal and test my sugar levels with a finger prick multiple times a day. WHAT?! I am also someone who absolutely LOVES carbs. Seriously, I ordered two mega choco chip cookies every night all winter quarter. If I had it my way, I would be at In-N-Out every night ordering a double-double with cheese fries (#nut). However, this all became a fleeting fantasy after my diagnosis.
I sat in the hospital as the doctors explained my diagnosis, overwhelmed with anxiety. My mind was racing and all I could think was — how could I be Natalie with diabetes? What would my friends say? Would people still treat me like Natalie? Could I still eat pasta? Would people comment on my monitor and if so, what would I say? Would I be able to handle sticking needles in my stomach and eating keto? Would I have to set alarms throughout the night every time I had an alcoholic drink? Most of all, I feared the responsibilities that came with living with Type 1 diabetes and I feared that I would seriously damage my body.
Fortunately, it quickly became apparent that my fears surrounding my diagnosis were nothing more than my anxiety. Within just a few weeks, I lowered my A1C (blood test that provides information about your average levels of blood sugars over a 3 month period), and I returned to the healthy, happy Natalie that I knew well. My family and friends met me with incredible kindness, empathy and support. The diabetic community welcomed me with open arms.
I have come to realize that being diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now, I know it is super cliche to say that the hardest thing you’ve ever been through is the best thing that could’ve happened to you. But, the reason it is cliche is because it holds so much value and truth. Adversity and hardship are truly essential to finding, but also realizing happiness and gratitude. Without diabetes, I wouldn’t be the Natalie I am today. And, for that, I will be forever grateful.
Before I get into what diabetes has taught me, I thought I’d touch on a bit of the science behind Type 1 diabetes. Diabetes is an auto-immune disease where the alpha cells in the pancreas attack the beta cells, killing off the body’s mechanism to naturally produce insulin. Normally, when someone eats carbs, their body will produce insulin via the beta-cells to break down the glucose into energy. In a diabetic body, the lack of beta cells means that the individual has no way to break down this glucose, letting the glucose grow exponentially in the blood until insulin is injected. What distinguishes type 1 diabetes from type 2 diabetes is this auto-immune attack, as individuals with type 1 diabetes cannot regenerate the necessary beta-cells to produce insulin, so they become reliant on insulin injections.
Diabetes taught me some critical life lessons including…
- Treating My Body Right
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Diabetics are incredibly sensitive to hormones such as cortisol, adrenaline and norepinephrine. Our bodies produce cortisol in moments of stress and anguish. I am someone who struggles with morning anxiety. Before the pandemic, when school was in person, I was able to burn off some sugars and release my morning cortisol by walking to class and up the stairs. Obviously, this isn’t an option with Zoom. It’s really hard for me to sit at my desk all day. My blood sugars have a mind of their own and the hormones that we as humans accumulate throughout the day makes me more resistant to my own insulin. The inability to walk between classes means that my blood sugars will remain high.
I’m pretty lazy, so don’t expect me to say that I started running every day to burn off my sugars. Instead, I found what works best for me: yoga and walking. What I really love about yoga and walking is that they allow me to release my anxiety and also lower my blood sugars. The very act of movement is what lowers my blood sugar levels, as it releases the hormones that make me resistant to insulin. Whether it be 10 minute or 60 minutes, I try to carve out time to move my body every day. Something I love to do on my walks is listen to a podcast (I love the NYT Daily Podcast) or phone a friend! Not only have yoga and walks drastically helped with my blood sugar management, they have been wonderful for my mental health!
- Healthy Eating = Healthy Living
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I touched on this a bit earlier, but I love carbs! When I was diagnosed, I was forced to eat around 40 grams of carbs a day to lower my A1C, as it was initially unreadable when I first arrived at the hospital because it was so high (A1C is a blood glucose level test over a 3 month span). Over time, I returned to a more normal diet, but it’s still important for me to eat healthy and low carb. Having diabetes means that you have to count all your carbs — insulin works on a carb-to-insulin unit ratio so everything I eat must be accounted for. I was really afraid that I could not be a human carb calculator and that I could not deviate from my affinity for carbs, but I was quickly proven wrong.
I absolutely love eating healthy! I no longer eat 50 grams of carbs a day — I eat whatever I want. I eat lots of fruits and veggies, but I also snack on crackers and eat cookies and ice cream for dessert. And like I said, I LOVE cheese-fries. No one, not even diabetes, can take them from me. It’s all about balance! I take so much value from my ability to fuel my body. I don’t obsessively count my carbs and neither should you. I’m a diabetic telling you that you should not follow a keto diet, unless your doctor tells you that you should. You should do what works best for your body and what makes you feel confident and beautiful — because it’s your relationship with your body that matters most.
Having diabetes also means living on a graph — I constantly have to monitor my blood sugars. My mood and concentration levels are very much influenced, if not dependent on, my blood sugars. After realizing how much my physical conditions could impact my mental state, I became incredibly curious to learn more about the mind to body connection. Diabetes forces me to think about my mental health and treat my body with care. I used to commit myself to sitting down at my desk for nearly 6 hours, only making exceptions to get a snack or use the restroom. This is no longer a privilege I can afford. Now, I get really hangry if I do not eat properly and my body becomes angry if I sit all day.
- Empathy & Gratitude
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You never know what people are dealing with beneath the surface. A smile and a hug from a friend can’t tell you about their mental or physical health. Although my constant glucose monitor (CGM) on my arm is a dead give away that I have diabetes, if I were wearing a hoodie, it would be nearly impossible to discern.
I have to navigate daily obstacles with diabetes — including checking my blood sugars with finger pricks and injecting insulin with every meal. These little obstacles made me put my life into perspective and endowed me with a huge sense of empathy. Once I got in touch with the diabetic community, it made me realize how many other people have experiences similar to my own. It showed me how ignorant I was previously and how many people struggle with internal issues that are hidden to the eye.
My diagnosis made me realize how hard it is to navigate health issues — whether they be mental or physical health. One of my close friends lives with epilepsy. After my diagnosis, he gave me some interesting advice: once you are diagnosed with a chronic health condition, it changes the way you see others and yourself. This lesson has become increasingly apparent to me.
I urge you to consider what it means to be grateful and empathetic in your daily life. So my advice to you is try to be more aware of how the people in your life are feeling — extend yourself to them and lead with curiosity, not judgement. I can speak from my own experience that I am very glad when people approach me with genuine curiosity about my diabetes! It is always wonderful to have a conversation about what it means to live with a chronic health issue, or any mental health issues for that matter. It’s important to help foster an environment of empathy — and we can all do our part by being kind to one another!