How to Get Closure

About two years ago, before I started my first year of college, I was confronted by a life-changing experience. The way I viewed myself and loved ones close to me changed completely, and hasn’t been the same since. 

I’m now a junior in college, and still emotionally affected by this experience. There are good days; where I appreciate the struggles I’ve been through, and how they’ve shaped me into the person I am today.

But there are also bad days; where my anxiety and grief makes everything else in my life seem meaningless. All I want is to not be haunted by the demons of my past, and obtain closure.

When traumatic personal issues come up in our lives, it can be hard to focus on school, work, or relationships with others. We hinder ourselves from doing our best, and reaching our highest potential.

How can we turn emotional pain into something positive, and let ourselves grow from it? Closure isn’t always given to us. Sometimes we have to get it ourselves. 


Don’t keep your feelings bottled up.

Cry when you need to. 

Get mad when you need to. 

Verbalize your thoughts, or write them down.

Take note of everything you’re feeling.

Don’t be ashamed of the conflicting emotions.

But more importantly, don’t ignore them. 


Reach out to others.

Find a support group.

Whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist. 

You’re never as alone as you think you are. 


Take time for yourself. 

Allow yourself to take a break when you need it. 

Don’t worry about what other people are doing, or what you could be missing out on.

If you’re not in an emotional state to go to class or a party, don’t force yourself to do so. 

Being alone with your thoughts can sometimes help you rationalize them better. 


Do what you love. 

Do whatever will make you feel better. 

Watch your favorite movie. 

Eat some comfort foods. 

Get into your coziest outfit.

Take a hot shower. 

Take care of yourself.


Confront the problem.

Don’t pretend the issue doesn’t exist or isn’t a big deal.

Seek answers to unresolved questions.

Stand up to the people who wronged you. 

Go on a quest of self-discovery if that’s what it takes.

The truth may not be what you want to hear, 

but it’s what you need to hear. 


Forgive yourself and others. 

Don’t hold any grudges. 

We’re all human. We aren’t perfect. 

If you keep feeling anger towards other’s mistakes and your own, 

how do you expect to move on?

Imagine a future where you’ve released this tension and hurt.

Take baby steps to make that imagined scenario a reality. 


These tips aren’t going to make your problems go away, but they can relieve the pain temporarily. Only time can completely heal the wounds. It might take a few months, or even years.

Don’t rush the process. Everyone deals with emotional pain differently, and at different speeds. 

But for now, all you can do is continue moving forward. Find the good that this experience brought you. And remember that you’re going to be okay.