You don’t know me.
Well, you might know me, but you don’t know me.
You might know the version of me sitting quietly in class, nodding my head at everything the teacher says because I’m too afraid to raise my hand and answer a question. You might know the version of me that’s shy and blends in.
You may know the version of me that’s dancing in a crowded room at two a.m. on a Saturday night, appearing not to care what anyone thinks. You might know me as the girl who’s loud and obnoxious, not afraid of judgment.
You might also know me as the girl who can’t stop talking because she’s so excited about something. The girl who goes on tangents about stuff that nobody else cares about because she has so much to say.
You may know the version of me that knows when to stop talking and listen. The girl whom you can trust with your deepest secrets. The girl who remembers the smallest details about your life, and who checks in on you and makes sure you’re okay after a long day. I can be the girl who’s always there when you need me, but sometimes it can be hard to find me.
There’s also a chance that you may know the tired girl: the girl who gets angry about the smallest things because she has no energy to deal with other people’s problems. The girl who desperately longs to make everyone happy and breaks down when she falls short. The version of me that wants to be a good friend but struggles to even take care of herself.
And then, of course, there’s the version of me that only my closest friends see: the version of me who literally has no filter. The one who will sing in the shower and scream the lyrics as loud as I can without caring if they’re correct. The version of me who will say the most out-of-pocket things without worrying about who will hear.
For a long time, I hated that I presented different versions of myself. I would think that I was being fake and changing myself to impress others, but the truth is, these are all parts of who I am. There’s a chance that you don’t like all the versions of me, but if you’re a true friend, you’ll embrace them all with open arms.
I am both quiet and loud at the same time. I’m confident, but I also have moments of insecurity. I’m sensitive, but I also don’t care what people think about me. I’m a talker, but I’m also a listener. Although there are some parts of me that I like more than others, I’m learning to embrace all aspects of my personality—the good, the bad, and the ugly.