I know that I am not the only college girl who works three jobs, takes 15 credits and manages to get herself to sleep by 11:00 P.M. and up by 8:00 A.M. the next day.
I have been amazed by women everywhere recently for how they handle their days.
This is not to say that men do not handle their days similarly, but from the experiences I have had, it is always predominately women at the study sessions, the extra-credit reviews, and the club meetings. I also do not spend a lot of time in activities such as these that involve a lot of men, but that’s not the point.
I am a woman, a busy woman and I am allowed to take up the space to talk about how BUSY I have been.
Buckle up.
You know that gut feeling that almost itches when you feel like you have to get things done but there simply is just not enough time in the day?
I feel it as I am writing this article.
This feeling consumes me most of the time and I still find the room to take that shift, make that club meeting and pick up the extra credit that would really just make my GPA.
Why do I do this?
My theory is that I have a very bad definition of boundaries in my life and some trouble giving up control. I am sure you could have guessed that by now.
Hey now, acknowledgment is the first step of the process, and you would be wowed to know that I am actually less busy than I have been in previous semesters.
I also think that this drive has something to do with the anticipation and lack of security for what comes after we are done going to classes and working on-campus jobs and attending club meetings.
All of this hustle and bustle is about stability that we will have proven to ourselves, to others, that we know how to work so when the time comes, others can see that as well.
I could go down the rabbit hole that goes a little something like, “If you were a man you would not feel this pressure to prove to people that you belong as an integral part of a team because you would be given that sense of security in the first place.”
Gotta pause after that one.
Yes, that is so true, do I feel like unpacking that on top of my busy schedule? No.
Once again, acknowledgment is the first step of the process. I am learning and I do not forget about what pushes my bad boundaries or controls.
I will save that conversation for my therapist and not y’all.
On an upbeat note, one of the most gratifying parts of being busy is being able to talk with the other women in your life who understand all of the work behind the scenes that you put in.
Not complaining, I mean talking. Talking about what you did, how you nailed that project, and what you are excited about.
Honestly, it motivates me to take a break. Thank God there are some amazing women out there that are running sh*t so that I do not feel like I have to.
In all respects, this piece has no intention of making those who do not run themselves ragged bad for not doing enough. I will be the first to acknowledge that it is not healthy!
That is how we keep the cycle going, right? By saying, “Oh, it’s nothing,” or “It took me like 5 minutes,” or “It’s not like I wasn’t busy anyways!”
I apologize for this mosh-posh of a post, I think I just needed a place to vent where I knew the audience would get it.
So I thank you for reading and being you, you cool, calm, and collected college girl.