I’ve had migraines since fifth grade, and I was officially diagnosed with chronic migraines the summer before my freshman year of college. Since then, I’ve tried just about everything: over-the-counter medications, prescriptions, the holistic approach—you name it, I’ve probably tried it. Some things have helped more than others, and some I still use today, but no matter what I do, I can’t ever seem to completely get rid of my silent bully.
The constant throbbing pain and colorful spots in my vision might disappear for a little while, but usually just long enough to trick me into thinking that whatever I’m doing is finally working. Then, out of nowhere, the migraine comes back like a freight train ready to knock me down and out.
And honestly? Migraines suck.
There’s really no nicer way to put it. They have ruined plans, made it impossible to focus in class, and forced me to spend days lying in a dark room when I would much rather be doing literally anything else. One of the most frustrating parts is that migraines aren’t always something other people can see. I can look completely fine on the outside while internally it feels like someone is repeatedly hitting me in the head with a hammer.
For a long time, I think I gave my migraines more power over my life than I realized. The second I felt one coming on, my mind immediately went to everything I wouldn’t be able to do. There goes my day. There go my plans. Guess I’m not getting anything done.
To be fair, sometimes that is exactly what happens. There are days when the migraine wins, and my only option is to take my medicine, shut the blinds, turn off every light, and hope sleep does its thing. I’ve had to learn that taking care of myself on those days isn’t giving up.
But I’ve also learned that having a migraine doesn’t automatically mean my entire day is over.
Sometimes, I can put on my sunglasses, grab my water bottle, take whatever medication I need, and keep going. Maybe I have to move a little slower. Maybe I need a break. Maybe I have to change my plans instead of completely canceling them. I’ve slowly learned the difference between listening to my body and letting my migraines control me.
That has probably been one of the hardest parts of having chronic migraines: accepting that they are, well, chronic. There isn’t necessarily going to be some magical morning when I wake up and realize I never have to deal with one again. Believe me, I would love that.
Migraines are a major part of my life, and probably always will be, but who says I have to let them have power over me?
Trust me, that is much easier said than done. I still get frustrated. I still have days when I feel completely defeated by them. I still complain about them because, once again, migraines suck.
But I’m also living proof that not every migraine has to take my entire day and leave me exhausted and upset. Sometimes I have to give in and rest, and sometimes I get to tell my silent bully, “Not today”(like in the commercials).
I may not get to choose when a migraine shows up, but I’m learning that I still get to choose what happens next.