It’s that time of year; the grayness of Western New York has set in for the next eight months and the semester is almost over.
These harsh realities make me want to crawl into bed.
I have been struggling to find my motivation recently. All of the “shoulds” seem to be attacking my positive mindset. I am sure it is partially burnout and partially sadness that my senior year is passing by before I can even find the time to relish in it.
The girl who used to wake up early to go to the gym or study is long gone; she takes whatever time she can to sleep in the morning.
As much as I have been a little lethargic, I have been trying to give myself some grace. My schedule is not easy and I am constantly working on myself to not override my personal life.
On top of this, I also have a strong urge to go home. I am ready for a break to sit on my couch and watch movies with the fireplace going. I could use a small reset to remind me that I am a college student.
Most of this burnout comes from what I do to myself. I am a sucker for helping others, so much so that I believe it will be my hardest life lesson to learn that I do not need to volunteer for things, no matter the empathy implied.
But a big piece of it also comes from the lul in the semester.
My mom called me the other day and offered some advice since she knew how I had been feeling.
She said “I think it would be helpful to write down all that you have accomplished in the last 6 months, even if they are rough drafts, and even if you feel like you did not do the best you could have done.”
I broke out my personal journal and got to writing.
Here’s what I came up with:
- I took two LSAT exams;
- I drafted my senior capstone research paper;
- I traveled for my work, by myself, twice;
- I had an article published about my time in Albany by St. Bonaventure;
- I made it through my first mock trial scrimmage;
- I celebrated my 21st birthday;
- I went to a law school fair;
And so much more that I can’t remember at the time, but I will jot down when I do.
I feel like this was the perfect exercise to remind me of all that I am capable of then and now. It is refreshing to remind yourself of all of the work that you put in, even if it does not always show in your life now.
I highly recommend this practice for anyone feeling as I am now, I swear it helps to lift the spirits.