Throughout the first 19 years of my life, I grew up terrified of change. I was terrified of different parts of my life changing. This came from experiencing parental divorce at the age of seven. Because of going through such a drastic change in my developmental years, I learned to fear it.
After that, I wanted things in my life to never change. I wanted to live by the same routine, so I could know exactly what would come next. This was until my sophomore year of college.
This year, I became a completely different person. Mentally and physically, I completely changed myself. I had this dream of a person whom I wanted to be. Instead of waiting for a day when I finally had the motivation to change myself, I decided I needed to start living the life I knew I always deserved.
I remember specifically walking up one day, and everything was different. I had a different outlook on life, and I am forever grateful for that turning point in my life.
Because of this moment, I continue to advocate to the people in my life about the importance of change. I do this because I was once a victim of fearing change, which is not how a person should live their life. We should live and embrace the different seasons of life.
Having the ability to evolve and change as people is, in my opinion, one of the biggest privileges we have. We never have to settle for less than we deserve. On top of this, you do not have to allow past versions of yourself or others to define the person you are.
My first experience when I realized that I had learned to cope with change was the breakup of my first relationship outside of high school. During my time healing from the breakup, I realized that this change was one that needed to happen.
That this person was meant to be in my life for a short period of time to teach me lessons. And because of that, I am so grateful for that relationship. And I am also grateful that I have the ability to become an even better version of myself after it ended.
My main point is that we should not be scared to change as humans. It is such a privilege that we have the ability to wake up and give ourselves the life that we have always deserved. How I see it is that I love myself way too much to live a life that is not completely and wholeheartedly fulfilling. Realizing how deeply unhappy I was at age 19 made me never want to live the life I was ever again.