I’ve been struggling to come up with a topic for this week’s article. My brain has been on overload, and I can’t think anymore.
I figure this is how a lot of people are feeling at this point in the semester, with the thought of final exams looming just around the corner and final projects in the chaotic stages of creation.
I’ve been overworking myself lately with how much I have to get done, and I’m at the point of pure exhaustion.
I don’t want to get out of bed.
I don’t want to go to work or club meetings.
I don’t even want to open my laptop to so much as look at the assignments I need to do.
Every time I get anything out to work on, whether for class or a club, all I can do is just stare at the screen. My brain doesn’t want to work anymore; it just goes blank.
I feel like my to-do list is never-ending. There is so much on it, and before I can even get one task done, another is added. And none of them are simple things like they used to be, so I can’t even mix in a brain break of a simpler assignment while working on a more complex one.
My creativity is drowning in this whirlpool.
I have no desire to do the things I actually enjoy anymore. When I try to, it only heightens my stress levels because it feels like I won’t get any of my necessary tasks done if I take time for myself. I mean, even if I did take the time to do the stuff I enjoy, I can’t even comprehend what I’m doing.
Usually, I will read a book, write a new poem, or work on a story. Maybe even crochet or just sketch in a journal. But I can’t bring myself to do any of these things. I feel like my creativity was stolen while I was so wrapped in my academics, and these things feel like any other assignment when I’m attempting to pick them up again.
Just writing a Her Campus article, something that has been an outlet and so relaxing to me, has become somewhat of a hassle to get done. These 400 words are too much for my brain to string and knit together into one conscious flow of work.
There’s a haze ever growing in my mind, and I am lost within, no flashlight to light my path out. I am surrounded by darkness and fog.
Eventually, the fog will clear; it always does. But right now, I am trying to live within it, trying to learn how to find my way in it even though it’s unclear. Â