Practicing self-love instead
Feeling left out by not having any “honey” or “boo” or “babe” to ask to “be mine” this season? Do the words stamped on candy hearts carry no meaning?
Well, don’t worry, look in the mirror! You got your answer right there! Even if you don’t have a “valentine,” why not take the chance to spoil yourself instead? Taking a moment for self-love can be a great thing! Eat those chocolates, treat yourself, and dress nice; just enjoy being you. Delight in just being!
Are people going to probably think I’m strange for dressing up when I have no one to impress? Most definitely!
People already think I’m insane, or socially awkward, or weird. I’m sure some people even think I’m on something because I look lost sometimes (I never am, my mind’s just a muddled mess most of the time). It’s not like I don’t hear people’s whispers passing by my door or notice the looks people give me.
Besides, I do have someone to impress, and that’s myself.
I’ll be honest, taking care of myself tends to be my last priority. It’s a really bad habit. The winter’s got me down; that voice in my head is always informing me that I’m “not good enough” or “not worthy of love.” All these doubts and stressors, frustration, busy days, exhaustion. But I can look in that mirror and say, “f#ck that, I’m wearing a cute outfit today.”
I can treat myself well; I deserve to, even though something in my mind is always saying I shouldn’t and that I don’t deserve it. That I’m too odd, distant, too boring, too quiet, or shy to have a chance to be anywhere other than the background. It’s still cold out, yeah, but you can still find a dash of light in the crisp white. How it shimmers, how each snowflake is just as unique as every one of us.
So yeah, I’m going to put a crown of roses on my head, I’m going to wear my heart socks and red turtleneck, I’m going to wear fun dangling roses and heart earrings. Put on a cute skirt, maybe try some perfume, and test some eyeliner.
I’ll let myself breathe, smile, and exist. I can tell myself that I actually matter. That I’m worth it, and sometimes you just need a chance to reflect. To remember yourself, allow yourself to feel. To know that we don’t need to exist with a partner to feel good about ourselves. So why not be your own valentine?