A year ago this week, I was on a Habitat for Humanity Spring Break trip in South Carolina. Within three days upon our return home, life flipped upside down. What started as a two week spring break extension turned into-as we all know- a full-fledged lockdown. Now we all lived through it, so I am not going to rehash the nitty gritty details. Covid- A Year in the Making is about the complete mental and physical transformation that I experienced.
My sophomore year on paper was perfect, however I was struggling through the worst anxiety I had ever had in my life. My anxiety and body image issues were the first thing I thought about in the morning, and the last thing I thought about before I went to bed. This evidently affected my relationships and my social life. When we were first sent home, I did not realize the severity of this until I broke down talking with my mom. I was devastated that my anxiety had taken one year of my life, time that now seems so precious after lockdown. The three months or so of lockdown was amazing for me personally, as it gave me time to rehabilitate my relationships with everyone, but most importantly myself; I began to have a healthy relationship with food, exercise, and myself.
During this time as well, my grandmother passed away. I realized that I needed to live my life with the same outlook she did. She was the most confident, lively, energetic, and grounded person I have ever met. The work I had done on myself, as well as this new mindset has been so freeing. I began journaling, saying affirmations, instead of exercising to lose weight, but rather to feel good. I still struggle often with my anxiety, and body image issues, but they are far less ever-present. Looking back at this year, there was loss and sadness, but it also gave me love, happiness, and appreciation for life. I am by no means saying I am “healed” fully now, or that this is what everyone has to do, this is simply what helped me.
