For whoever needs to hear this today: Stop giving people access to you who no longer deserve it. In my twenty something years of life I have come across many people who I once had a good relationship with, that no longer served me or benefited my life for them to be in it anymore. Around the age of 15 is when I first had to let a friend go for the first time and let a once strong relationship fizzle out. This was really hard for me but I knew that I could not be friends with someone, who was not being a loyal friend back to me. After coming to college, I realize I have learned so much in the last four years. I realized that I have grown substantially during my college years and my sense of value and worth has never been stronger. Reflecting on myself, it is one of the things I most admire about myself, the way that I know when to walk away from things that no longer serve me. You can do this too.
Let me be clear, friendships and relationships are very important. Having people in your life who love and care about you is one of the perks of being on this earth! Love is what brings people together and I value all the amazing people in my life. Looking back on relationships that I’ve had, more than once I have walked away and ended relationships cause I realized my worth either was not being valued, or I had been in a relationship that was toxic and I was involved with a toxic person. Walking away is easier said than done, especially if you are in a toxic relationship, and in my experience I stayed in a toxic relationship way longer than the expiration date. I find toxic romantic relationships to be the hardest to walk away from. Nonetheless, here is my advice to leave friendships or relationships that no longer serve you.
Know the warning signs:
If you have a friend or partner that makes you feel like you have little worth and constantly put you down
If you have a friend that constantly talks badly about others
If your friend tries to make comments on your appearance in deprecating ways
If you feel on edge, or that you have to watch what you say in fear of displeasing someone else
If you feel like you constantly seek this persons approval
If you feel the need to change your values or beliefs to please another person
If you are being harmed, physically or mentally
If you have a friend that constantly sabotages you or others
If you feel you are not deserving of love
These are in my experience warning signs that I may be in relationships with individuals that do not deserve to be in my life. Remember to not feel guilty! You are not being selfish by protecting your peace, and making sure you are surrounded by good people. You may feel discouraged to walk away if you have to end relationships you’ve had for long periods of time, but I implore you to do so. You will thank yourself for prioritizing your happiness.