I’ve come across a lot of college freshman advice ranging from “join a club” to “work hard, party hard” and while all of that is great, it is paramount that the choices you make for your college journey actually align with your mental health and happiness. Here are some tips, thoughts, and advice for your freshman year from a self-care standpoint.
- Realize that this is YOUR journey:
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Student life involves juggling many things at once- from academics and career development to socializing and being an active member of student organizations. Self-care should be your top priority at all times. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, and you are allowed to take everything at your own pace without worrying about ‘falling behind’ while everyone else is moving ‘ahead’. The concept of being ahead of the game is non-existent anyway, because life isn’t a race. Everyone operates on a timeline unique to themselves and has different hurdles to overcome. So yes, get involved, see, experience, learn and grow, but remain true to yourself and don’t rush into anything.
- Eat breakfast and get enough sleep:
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This cannot be emphasized enough. I really wish people would stop glorifying not eating breakfast, not getting enough sleep and being dependent on caffeine to function. As a commuter who wakes up early enough to have a relaxed morning routine with a slow shower and a nourishing breakfast, I find it rather disappointing that I belong to a rare breed of college students who actually has time for all that. it seems to be a competition on who’s had the least amount of sleep or who ate the least to finish their school work. This isn’t trendy or healthy and needs to stop. The health benefits of breakfast and sleep have been taught in health classes since elementary school. Recent studies show that sleep deprivation leads to emotional and social disconnectedness, and having a healthy breakfast improves memory and attention within college students.
- Snapchat and Instagram are liars:
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You’re going to scroll through Instagram pictures and watch Snapchat stories and feel like you’re doing something wrong. You’re going to see your high school friends move on with their lives with new people. You’re going to see other freshmen getting involved like never before, looking as though they’re having the time of their lives. You will sit there helplessly wondering why you still haven’t made close friends, why you can’t seem to commit to anything or why you aren’t enough. I’ve been there, and it’s not a pleasant feeling. Honestly though, it’s mostly a facade. You aren’t alone and so many people struggle with their first year of college. Whether it be with academics, with socializing, or with mental/physical health, no one is completely happy their freshman year-despite what social media may portray. Detox from social media if you need to, and focus on finding happiness within yourself by doing the things that make you happy.
- Being alone is okay, and even good for you:
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I am not saying that you should be holed up and rarely ever show your face to humanity, but really, independence is great! A lot of college is being alone, at least in my experience. Literally everyone eats, goes to classes, and studies alone at some point, since everyone is operating on different schedules from their friends. Keep in mind that you can only have one best friend, and that is YOU. You will come across lovely people but the only one to keep that ‘forever’ promise is you. Why not make the most of your alone time? You would treat your best friend or significant other with compassion to keep them happy, so do the same for yourself when alone. As an introvert, I love my solitude and the introspection that comes as a result of it. It allows me to get intimate with my inner persona and answer important questions- what matters, what doesn’t, what my values are, and who I am becoming from this journey. Read books (not to veer off track, but read How To Be A Bawse – it’s so life-changing!), journal, take a walk, cook a meal, basically do whatever makes your little heart content. It’s okay even if you choose not to do any of these things. It’s okay to just be- to simply exist in your whole, natural state, forgetting for a moment about any worldly worries and expectations weighing you down.
- It’s also okay to not know what you want to do – at all:
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Sometimes, it’s okay to not have a set goal, because you don’t know or are unsure of what it is that you want. Chances are that you’ll never have it all figured out. However, you’re not any less brilliant for not knowing what you want to study or what you want to get yourself involved in. You will have a great experience regardless, and will be as successful as those who come into college having known their career path for their entire lives. Statistically, most students end up changing their college majors anyway. There’s absolutely no shame in being undecided, because no one knows what their major is really about until they take a few classes in it. Sometimes your fun electives will be more interesting than your core classes, and that’s okay. Truth to be told, I am still unsure of what I want to pursue- even as a sophomore. However, I stopped stressing out too much because I trust that I will figure it out, and so will you. Pay no heed to anyone who directly or indirectly shames you for your uncertainty or for your choices; college is about finding yourself, not about knowing yourself before it even starts.
- If you know what you want, baby goals are the way to go:
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Something that’s going to go a long way to help your mental health and bring you results is setting baby goals. I say baby goals, because your goals must be small and sustainable as you reach your bigger, ultimate goal. Work towards these goals each day- even if it means making a healthy dinner tonight, solving five calculus problems, or simply cleaning your desk. By choosing to have small goals, your work won’t seem like, you know, work. For example, instead of setting your goal as “study on Sunday”, plan something like “study for two hours after lunch on Sunday”. Checklists are lifesavers, and suddenly all your tasks won’t seem so daunting and insurmountable anymore; before you know it, you will become a better and more organized version of yourself.
- Put study material away once you’re done with it:
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This is critical if you want to avoid burnout and gain mental clarity. Leave your work at work. Tidy up your workspace after your study session, put away any textbooks and notes, close all of the tabs on your computer even if you have to reopen them later. The best way to soothe your mind after long periods of studying is by decluttering your physical, and thus mental space.
- Get help for your issues:
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Whether they’re academic or mental health issues, get help for them even if you’re afraid to ask. When the going gets rough, you are going to need support. If you’re struggling with understanding subject material or are stuck on writing a paper, go to your professors’ or TA’s office hours- they are not heartless and want you to succeed. In my experience, the tutoring services also do a great job at helping you get back on track, so utilize those resources. As for your mental health, please don’t be afraid to acknowledge and address any underlying difficulties. Reach out to the trusted people in your life and get professional help if needed. Most of your class syllabi has links to resources; while I’ve heard mixed reviews about the counseling services at universities, it doesn’t hurt to try them out-and keep trying until you find what you need.
- Positive energy is real:
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This is less about being sunshine and rainbows all the time, and more about accepting your place in the present and being grateful despite the circumstances. From a scientific standpoint, everything is energy. You are energy yourself and there is positive and negative energy around you, which you can feel and experience in every person you meet, every place you visit, and in everything you do. You can and must choose to surround yourself with positive energy. As they say, you become what you attract and if you attract positive energy, you will feel that way inside and exude confidence- culminating in a greater sense of fulfillment in the long run.
- You don’t have to prove yourself to be valued:
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You are valued for simply existing. You don’t have to accomplish the impossible in order to matter or in order to be remembered. You exist and that’s more than enough. Don’t underestimate the impact you’ve made by simply talking to your friend on the phone this morning, or by smiling at a random stranger on the bus. These seemingly infinitesimal things make you so, so worthy. For the people who love you, they love you unconditionally. You’ve got nothing to prove to them. Your occurrence is great, okay?
- It’s okay if freshman year, or even college isn’t the time of your life:
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In my opinion, the excessive focus on having a traditional ‘college experience’ is overrated. First of all, college means different things to different people; the pressure to conform to some cookie-cutter ‘college experience’ is not worth stressing over at all. Not everyone can or wants to get a job/internship every summer/semester, volunteer all the time, study abroad, go to frat parties, attend football games, date someone that’s not their type…blah blah blah. These are valuable experiences to have, but you really don’t have to do it all- unless you want to (and have the means to), of course. Remember that college is not a glorious time for everyone- some struggle with their mental health, others struggle to make ends meet, and so on. For some, simply getting through their hurdles is enough of a college experience. It is time to destroy the idea that your youth is the only time frame when magnificent things can happen.
Putting your health and happiness first is one of the most important things you can do to grow as person throughout your college journey. I hope your freshman year is everything you want it to be, and if it isn’t, I hope you know that it’s not the end of the world and that you have better things in store for you.