I was watching a Youtube video of a woman doing her makeup when she suddenly looked up from her eye shadow pallet. She was silent for a second, clearly lost in thought. Then, out of nowhere, she spoke.
“I’m not sure who needs to hear this but it’s okay to be ugly.” She said flicking the shadows onto her eyelids. “You don’t have to be pretty all the time. You don’t have to be pretty at all.”
I was so shocked that I had to pause the video and think about what she just said. I had and have no clue who this woman is. All I knew is that she’s some beauty guru who took a strange stance against beauty standards. At first, I was completely repulsed. Who was she to tell me that it was okay to be ugly? Wasn’t everyone beautiful in their own way? Wasn’t being ugly a bad thing? I chewed on her words for a minute and realized that she was right.
I know. Hear me out.
When a celebrity leaves their home without makeup and wearing sweatpants they are considered brave. Why? They are literally just a human being living their life. We live in a society where being beautiful and put together is considered to be the norm and anything else is a deviation. But that’s not the case at all. Being plain is the standard. Being “ugly” in society’s eyes is the standard.
People that we consider beautiful or ethereal in society achieved this look through things like plastic surgery and a lot of time and money to invest in their appearance. Don’t get me wrong I personally don’t think this is a bad thing in most cases. Nobody should be shamed for the choices that they make for their body. But, I think it’s awful to proclaim enhanced beauty features as obtainable or necessary.
I realized that people don’t realize what a “normal” person looks like. I know this sounds awful but it’s true. On some level, we know that the level of beauty that belongs to the wildly beautiful isn’t always obtainable for everyone. But, I don’t think that it clicks in our heads. We don’t have to look like that. Sometimes it isn’t possible to look like that.
Something that I like to tell myself when I’m feeling down about my appearance is that I’m not a model. My appearance is not my career and it’s not the most important thing in my life. Do I want to feel pretty? Of course. Do I still believe everyone is beautiful in their own way? Absolutely.
But do I have to feel pretty every second of the day? No. I’m a human being. I don’t need to feel ethereal. I’m okay feeling pretty sometimes and just a person other times. I don’t have to be pretty. I can be a normal-looking person. It’s okay to be normal. And it’s more than okay to be “ugly”.