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Mental Health

Successfully Checking in With Yourself

Many of us find it easier to be our own critic than to be our number one fan. However, it is possible to transform the way you think by reframing your thoughts or shifting your perspective. Think back to a situation where you backed out of an opportunity that would have served you so much good, had you taken it. Now ask yourself, Why did I back out? Do I lack self-worth? Do I avoid taking risks? Am I staying in my comfort zone? Why am I running away? Do I fear rejection or failure?

As a matter of fact, these are all very real and normal struggles that we face. However, it is important to note that until you approach the struggle or issue from the root, there is no suitable chance of you growing or even being successful. More often than not, that drawback is YOU. You’re the main reason behind this conflict. I wouldn’t say that having these thoughts is your full-on choice, but I will say that you are responsible for learning how to go about them. These negative thoughts and self-doubt are not permanent, as there are various ways to refrain from them.

How do you talk to yourself? Do you journal? Think out loud? Speak affirmations? Or reach out? Whatever that may look like for you, you’ve got to make sure it’s positive and healthy. Remember that what you feed your mind, is what you outpour to the world, and that is how the world will then perceive you. If you’re constantly beating yourself up mentally, others may take advantage of that and walk over you. However, if you’re assertive and constantly setting standards, others will respect you because ultimately by doing so, you are setting the bar. Don’t let your inner critic determine your self-worth either.

I know you might be telling yourself that phrases like, “reframe your thoughts” or “shift your perspective” are much easier said than done, and you’re totally right. Such things take effort. So, I’d like to encourage you to check-in with yourself. Both reframing and shifting can begin with self-reflection, determining your areas of growth, or by challenging your self-talk into a more optimal and positive manner. From this point on, stand firm on your decisions to create a positive outlook of possibilities.

Real talk: the next time you fall short on an opportunity, remember that it won’t chase you, so acquire them while you can. If it doesn’t challenge you now, it won’t change you. I dare you to take that leap of faith! Whether it’s significant or minor, you’re still making an improvement because you took the chance. Trust me when I say regret will haunt you more than failure ever did.

There comes a point where you get tired of setting these limitations that have closed you off for far too long. But eventually, you learn and come to realize that what you were missing was that momentum of positivity. That shift in energy is exactly what you lacked before that will now enable you to move forward. It’s no longer, “I don’t think I’m capable” rather, “I’m ready for what lies ahead of me, so put me in coach!” No matter the outcome, at least you stepped in completely. Build that positive frame of mind and you will see the endless amount of opportunities around you! So, in order to be successful, face up to the conflict!

Erika is a rising senior Psychology major with minors in Sociology and Spanish. Upon graduation, she plans to pursue a master's degree in grad school. Apart from her academic life, she loves to consistently learn about/promote the dimensions of well-being, advocate for mental health, volunteer, write/journal/self-reflect, do haircare, play table tennis, and watch crime investigation shows.
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