For a long time, I was in denial of my perfectionism. My reasoning was, “I can’t be a perfectionist. I am not perfect. I could be doing so much more!” But I now recognize this response is only evidence of my perfectionism. Although perfectionism can sometimes be helpful in the academic world, it can also be crippling. I tend to place too much of my value on my grades and the start of a new semester means that I am now full of anxiety about facing my self-judgment if I fail. But I am working on this! So for all the recovering perfectionists out there, here are some of the things I have found to help.
Do Less
To me, this is one of the hardest things. So much anxiety for me stems from the fear that I am not doing enough in comparison to my peers. But it’s important to note that everyone is on their own journey, and you can never know what is going on behind the scenes in somebody else’s life. Everyone has their own timeline. And for those of you who believe this advice is highly counterintuitive, in my experience comparison very rarely leads to productivity.
Find Enjoyment
For me, this comes in the form of reading, conversing with loved ones, cooking, diving into tons of A Song of Ice and Fire lore and theories, and zoning out to my Master Game of Thrones Playlist and Taylor Swift (I was in the top 0.5% of TS listeners, for those interested in my Spotify wrapped). Stepping back from feeling like I should be doing things and spending time to discover the things that I want to add to my life has been instrumental to my finding balance.
Bonus
By utilizing my two-step system, you might discover the things that you genuinely love and want to pursue. You may find something that you love to engage with simply because it makes you happy, not out of a need to prove your worth. Or maybe you won’t, and that’s completely okay too! The point is to stop putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.
In Conclusion
Realizing that I do not have to DO anything to earn my place in this world or be of value has been key in living a happier life. I am not perfect and I still struggle, but I have gained more perspective since I began addressing this. I hope that my little tale can help anyone else to feel less alone and recognize their worth.