College is rumored to be the best four years of our lives but is that actually true? I mean realistically a person lives for what, about eighty-five years? So do you really want the best time of your life to be when you’re just starting out at this thing called life? There is so much pressure about making college this incredibly epic thing but in reality it may not always feel like it. As much as I love scrolling on social media, I do think it adds this extra layer of pressure when it comes to what we believe the college experience to be. Online we see girls waking up at six a.m., going to a pilates class, going home getting ready for the day, going to class, studying, then getting ready and partying till the sun comes up, then repeating that cycle everyday of the week. Although that is reality sometimes that is not what everyday actually looks like. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with going out and partying a few times a week but it is unrealistic that everyday of college is going to be just fun and games. There’s things that colleges don’t put on brochures that definitely impact your college experience that made me question is college really the best years of my life?Â
Throughout my freshman year I have felt so lonely. Of course I have my friends on campus and I love them to death but you can still feel lonely in a room full of people. My roommate and I are best friends who talk and do things together everyday but it can still feel lonely at school. Some of my friends have completely different schedules than me so we rarely get time to see each other. Others go home every weekend leaving me alone in my dorm for three days. It can be hard always feeling alone at school but I have learned it is important to romanticize doing things alone and it makes it feel so much less awkward. A year ago you would’ve never seen me doing anything by myself but now I look forward to getting up in the morning, going to a coffee shop on campus, drinking a fun drink and getting some studying done. Yes, at first it’s going to be a bit awkward or uncomfortable doing things by yourself and for yourself but once you start you’ll realize how much of a relaxing and fun time you can really have doing things alone.Â
Something else that has helped me to rethink what college is actually supposed to be is the stress I have induced since coming to school. When you first begin college your freshman year it almost completely shocks your system. You are in a new place, with new people, new places of living, new foods, new smells, etc. It is normal to feel overwhelmed and stressed out about yourself and the things surrounding you. I have been in college a total of maybe six months and I have wanted to change my major multiple times, had countless crash outs, many tears have left my eyes, but it’s all a part of the process. It is so normal to be stressed out thinking about college and your future and you shouldn’t have to explain yourself to anyone. One piece of advice since coming to college my mom told me was, “If it’s easy everyone would do it.” Not everyone is taking the same classes as you or got accepted into the program you got into. You got into this program or class or internship etc. for a reason. If you weren’t qualified enough they would let any random person do it. You have gotten this far in your life for a reason, so keep in mind how much further you can go.Â
There’s such a pressure around always being happy in college. When you see family everyone asks, “How’s college?” or, “Aren’t you just having so much fun at school?” Nine out of ten times when someone asks me this I smile, nod, and respond with something along the lines of, “ Yes, it’s such a blast!” Having fomo is such a real thing in college. Whether it’s fear of missing out on going to a party or dinner with the girls, people will always have fomo. I have a different type of fomo. I often fear that I’m doing this whole college thing the wrong way. I see people often posting or just talking about how great of a time they are having at school but I never seem to feel the same way. Maybe it’s because I’m more introverted of a person or because I’m not into hookup culture or maybe it’s because there is such a stigma around the perfect type of college experience.Â
I don’t think college is supposed to have one certain path you are supposed to follow. From what I have learned in my first year of being at school is that college isn’t a time for your life to be perfect but actually the exact opposite. College is the time where it is okay to make mistakes, change your mind, learn what you do and don’t like, and where you realize how to be comfortable in your own skin and on your own. Some days are spectacular, others are absolutely dreadful but that just means you are getting the full college experience. The hard truth is that your life is not going to peak at twenty-two when you graduate (or at least it shouldn’t). You aren’t supposed to have your whole life planned out by the time you walk across the stage at the end of your senior year. The rest of your life is not confined to one campus. College might be messy, scary, exciting, unpredictable, or all at once but it doesn’t mean it has to be the best or worst time of your life. The college experience is truly what you make it. I hope for myself that these next four years are enjoyable and exciting but I hope the same for as many years as I am lucky to have. Â