Call me dramatic, but I feel like my perspective on the world has been completely twisted around. If you read my article about Content Creators That Don’t Rot My Brain, you may know that I’m a big fan of Tam Kaur, or maybe you didn’t read that and you have no idea who I am. Either way, let me tell you about a woman who changed my outlook on everyday life.Tam Kaur is a mental health and self love content creator. I discovered her this summer when I was looking to get out of a mental slump. I found her podcast, Self Obsessed, on Spotify and I have been listening to it almost everyday since.Â
As someone who has listened to her fair share of self love podcasts, I never found one that I could fully understand and relate to. I’ve had so many aha moments while listening to the Self Obsessed podcast. There is so much information out there about mental health and what one should do to live a self loving life. Tam puts so much emphasis on being disciplined but gentle with yourself. She explains that self care isn’t just face masks and iced lattes. Self love is inner work and it isn’t always aesthetic. She taught me how to have honest conversations with myself. These conversations led me to discover hidden patterns within myself.Â
Her episode topics range from narcissists, money management, academics, friendship breakups, gut health, social confidence, and, of course, self obsession. I don’t want to reveal all that I’ve learned from her because I want you to go and listen/watch for yourself, but I want to mention my biggest takeaway from her: it’s okay to be a bi*ch. Her episode about being a bi*ch was one that has stuck with me the most. Tam talks about how that word has such a demeaning connotation around it. She explains the fear that people have of empowered women. Being a bi*ch doesn’t mean that you’re, for lack of better words, mean. Being a bi*ch means that you prioritize your needs, and some people just can;t handle that.Â
I have found myself zoning out to monotonous self love podcasts. So many people have told me to drink tea and stretch everyday. Tam Kaur gave me actionable steps to reach my potential. I get excited to listen to her episodes in the morning. I haven’t just said I’m gonna follow her advice, I have actually done it because I wanted to do it. So much of what she speaks about sticks with me and it becomes a part of my subconscious. The way I function has been altered for the better. I find myself being driven by my goals, and I don’t waste my time pleasing people or doing things that drain me.Â
This Christmas I was given something that I’ve been wanting for months: Buy Yourself The Damn Flowers by Tam Kaur. As a book girlie, this was automatically my favorite gift. It’s the ultimate handbook to all of her advice, accompanied by checklists of self love work you can do. It is my favorite bedside book that I could read over and over again.
So, call me dramatic if you want, but I needed to talk about this inspiring woman who has impacted me so much over the past eight months.