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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Rhodes chapter.

Inspired by Jenny (Gina Rodriguez) monologue: “Somewhere between then and now, here and there- I guess we didn’t just grow apart…we grew up. When something breaks, if the pieces are large enough you can fix it. Unfortunately, sometimes things don’t break. They shatter. But when you let the light in, shattered glass will glitter. And in those moments- when the pieces of what we were catch the sun- I’ll remember just how beautiful it was. Just how beautiful it will always be. Because it was us. And we were magic. Forever.”

Her

you don’t know how much you hurt me…

Those words you degraded me consistently in the mirror…

You couldn’t bring yourself to say a single compliment instead

You couldn’t bring yourself to say something affirmational to raise my broken and battered spirits.

Why?? we stood side by side

It was me and you against the world

Somewhere along the way, it became me against you and the world.

Sometimes I wonder how far the dagger can still penetrate a wounded heart

How far are you still willing to go?

Until I’m bloody to a pulp?

Until I can’t seem to distinguish my up from down?

Herself

She will never understand how free she is

She will never have to deal with the crap of the world

The self-deprecation, the humiliation, the whirlwind of comparisons

Instead, she is always living with her head in the clouds

But…

I am her reality check

I am her dagger of reality

I am the thing she will always cry to sleep

Cry so that she can change

I am her source of reason from the childlike wonder she never seems to release from…

Her

Hearing you speak

Hearing you admit this…about us makes me see that somewhere along the way we lost track of each other

We both deviated into two different paths

We splintered and shattered

We became the things we couldn’t stand

One with her head in the clouds

The other ready to strike the first punch at herself

 

How exhausting that must’ve been for you

I’m sorry

We grew up and I’m ready to let that part of me go

Because you were once me and I am ready to be rid of that part of you

You were me and I once loved you!

 you were the greatest but it is now time to acknowledge the thorns and the harm we gave to each other

Herself

I’m sorry…

I never thought we could be whole again

I miss you and I once loved unconditionally

But I think this is the right thing for you and me

We were once beautiful

We gleamed

We shone in the sunlight

But now I am me and you are you

You will always be the beautiful girlie with her head in the clouds and her heart in her dreams

Never lose that

I’m sorry for making you believe you had to

Bitia Alanis

Rhodes '22

Bitia Alanis is a student at Rhodes College. She enjoys surfing the web, writing, reading, Netflix and allowing a space for people to connect and enjoy the many qualities of life. She's empathetic and always strives to make herself the best she can be.