A phrase that people enjoy overusing through this chaotic time is “we are all in the same boat”. Typically, people say this phrase in an attempt to make a person feel better; to make that individual’s experience a collective one. However, as it can be comforting at times to know you are not alone, it can also be belittling to a person’s individual experience. I am sorry, but there are people in this world who are traveling the storm of COVID-19 in a yacht, while others are in a tin can boat with a hole in the middle. If you ask me, these are two COMPLETELY different experiences. Yet, we continuously hear “we are all in the same boat” and in all honesty, when those surviving in the tin hear this from the yacht people…well, you can assume they want their boat to go down like the Titanic (of course, not in a murdersome way).
So, let’s start rephrasing “we are in the same boat” to “I hope you are doing well”. Sometimes people are forgetful that we are still existing in a pandemic. Even for myself, sometimes our current lifestyle comes to feel normal and I truly have become to detest that. Our living situation is unsettling and it is beyond okay for people to not to be okay with the circumstances at hand.
More importantly, let’s get rid of the toxic positivity surrounding COVID-19. This is difficult to say without sounding privileged, as there are people who are in disheartening situations; whether it be losing a loved one, not being able to pay rent or struggling to put food on the table. I am not disregarding any of these devastating and real realities, however, I am done with the constant need to make light of the situation or tendency to feel like you cannot be upset of things being missed.
It is unsettling to have to walk around with a face mask constantly to not receive or transfer a harmful virus.
It is unsettling to now have limited social interactions as it is against the law to see anyone you want at any given time.
It is unsettling to be missing milestones and substituting it with inferior replacements.
It is unsettling to be living in a pandemic–as we are still living, a year later, in a pandemic.
This pandemic is not an easy feat. The expectation for people to simply get over it or to not have any feelings of defeat needs to be removed. There are still so many unsettling things in our present-day and it is okay for people to cope differently and at different times. People who were able to cope perfectly before could be seriously struggling now. We have not lived through a pandemic before. There is no rule book on how to ‘best survive’ the unexpected road bumps that arise.
In saying that, some people have truly forgotten to have compassion for others. People may be struggling more than what meets the eye. It is difficult to not be surrounded by all your friends and loved ones. It is difficult to be studying for your undergrad at home or being put into a stay-at-home lockdown.
Thus, let’s begin to have patience for people again. Let’s have patience for the people who are not responding to their messages as they may be navigating many things. Let’s have patience for the people who are unable to make socially-distant plans as maybe they are having expectedly difficult days. Let’s have patience for people who are trying to be okay living in a pandemic.
As they say, don’t pour from an empty cup; always remember to take care of yourself. However, if your cup is a little more full, think about sharing it with another. Send a text message to tell someone you’re thinking of them and hope they are well. Write a letter to a loved one about how grateful you are for them. Send someone their favorite coffee. Any act of kindness could help a person more than you know.
Needless to say, be kind to others. Recognize that yes, we are all navigating COVID-19, but people have their own individual experiences. COVID-19 is unsettling and sometimes people need a little extra kindness to move forward. Remember, one day we will be okay.
To whoever is reading,
I hope you are doing well.