We have officially entered the most dreary, moment of the semester. Exams are coming up, spring is not reflected in the weather, and everything just feels all-around negative. In these moments of the semester, I find myself fed up: I’m fed up with the routine, with school, with socializing, but also being alone. All I can think about is how I want the sun to come out so I can frolic, be done with school and appreciate everything. As I’ve thought about these things over and over, I have come to realize that I don’t have to wait for the sun to come out to reduce all of this negative thinking. After many nights of brooding, I have come to the conclusion that it’s time to pick myself up and start implementing some different methods to feel a little more positive about life when everything around me feels anything but positive.
The No Complaining Rule
One of the things I have realized that I do relatively consistently is complain during times like these. I will complain about anything, from doing poorly on a test to the smallest things like Starbucks running out of the tea I like. When I stopped to reflect on myself a little bit, I realized how consistently I have been complaining, and it is definitely a huge part of my problem. Actively practicing not complaining, even for a few days, has already saved me so much mental energy that I spend on the smallest things. As obvious as it sounds, the words you speak become the house that you live in, so who would want to live in a house with a perpetual looming negative energy from all the complaints that are being spoken into existence? Recently whenever I find myself complaining a lot, I take very specific notice to it and reconsider the kind of environment I want to build for myself. In doing this, I find different ways to reframe how whatever I am complaining about can be even the slightest bit more optimistic; or at least recognize that it’s not worth my energy.
“What If”…Everything Works Out?
Being a high-intensity time when it comes to stressors or workload, I am always getting wrapped up in the “what if” spiral of everything that could go wrong if even the smallest things happen. That anxiety talking feels so real, and it can be immensely consuming, but what if everything works out? Every single time I am anxious about something going wrong in any way, it more often than not ends up fine, or at least I end up fine regardless of the outcome. A commitment I am aiming to make for myself is to transform those “what if” moments into moments of hope or, at the very least, moments of perspective. I want to be able to step back and have the perspective to tell myself that maybe the “what if” isn’t worth thinking twice about at all.
The 10 Second Rule
As straightforward as this may sound, the ability to acknowledge negative thinking and take control of it is probably one of the most powerful things of transforming your negativity into optimism. A simple way to begin taking control of these moments is by giving yourself ten seconds to decide if a negative thought deserves your attention for some extended period of time. If it doesn’t, which it probably won’t, then why start worrying about it now? For example, when studying for a test that I feel like there’s no possible way I will pass, I step back for ten seconds and consider the fact that after I take the test, it really won’t matter as much in the grand scheme of things. It reminds me that the most I can do is try my best and remember that the trajectory of my life won’t change regardless of what happens.
Disaster Isn’t the Only Outcome
When you spiral into thinking about every situation where you might fail or experience some worst-case scenario, it’s important to stop and think. Why are we training our brains to always prepare for disappointment? Similar to the “what if” scenario, disaster is probably the least likely outcome, or it may just have to be a bridge you cross when you get there. What’s the point in worrying about it when you have no control over the situation, or at the very least, you’re doing everything you can to control the situation for the outcome of your liking? Reframing your thinking out of apocalypse mode could be one of the most helpful things you can do for yourself.
Avoid Comparison
How many times have you heard the saying that “comparison is the thief of joy”? I bet it’s a lot, at least it has been a lot for me. The reason you’ve heard it so often is that it’s true, and it’s one of the easiest things to lose sight of. Stop comparing everyone’s success with your own, because every person’s path is different, and everyone has their own issues. There’s no benefit in obsessing over someone getting a better mark than you on an assignment, or thinking that another person has their life balanced in a manner you never could achieve. You never know what’s happening behind the scenes for anyone else, so focus on yourself and how you can work towards your own personal definition of success on your terms.
I’m not here to say I have tried all of these methods for extended periods of time or can prove that they work, but they’re all methods I have jotted down in hopes of finding something that sticks. Even if they don’t, summer is right around the corner to charge me back up for the last year of university!