Iām graduating this spring, but it feels like just yesterday I was moving into Adelaide Hall and sitting down in my first hundred-seat lecture. When I think about that seventeen-year-old first-year student and the person I am today, the most stunning difference I see isnāt that I donāt need Google Maps to get around campus and downtown Kingston anymore, nor that Iām a way better essayist after four years of practice; itās that Iām better at loving myself.
Self-love has been a lifelong journey for me at this point, and itās much easier now than it used to be, but I want you to know this: you donāt need to love every part of yourself all the time. I donāt think thatās possible, actually. Sometimes itās more than enough to look in the mirror and be okay with the scars and stretch marks you see, or feel low and know that youāre still worth caring for.
In high school, I knew where my comfort zone was and played well within it, but Iāve since learned that life begins outside the comfort zone. I couldnāt have imagined that Iād accomplish half the things I have, but here I am. Iāve learned that itās okay to be uncertain; self-love isnāt being endlessly confident all the time, but rather being self-possessed enough to know when you can give yourself a push and a little tough love, and when to let yourself rest.
With all this big talk about coming into myself, I donāt know where Iād be without my friends, family, and partner. Thatās another thing I want you to know: part of self-love is letting people love you and knowing that you donāt get to make that call for them, however unlovable or undeserving you may feel.
I hesitate to call university the ābest four years of my lifeā only because thereās still so much life left to live, but it has definitely been the most memorable and formative chapter of my life so far. I remember, vividly, the girl I was four Septembers ago, and I couldnāt be more excited for her to learn and grow. I hope in three years, when Iām this close to graduating law school, Iāll look back on who I am now and feel the same way.