In case you missed it, Her Conference brought its Butterfly Tour to State College on Wednesday, Oct. 15. With speakers Miranda McKeon and Taryn Delanie Smith, I knew the lessons that I would learn would be heavy and powerful before even walking into the State Theater. However, as someone who is typically shy and struggles getting out of their shell on a daily basis, strong words from these speakers left me with a few lessons I foresee myself leaning on for life.
Friendships are something you need to cherish and cultivate for life
Going away to college is not an easy task, especially when you have to leave some of your lifelong hometown friends. However, college taught me that you have to continue cultivating your hometown friendships and grow them into adult friendships. You have to adapt to no longer spending every possible moment with them, yet somehow stay just as close as you have always been.
My one hometown friend and I can go weeks without speaking, and we will always pick up right where we left off. However, my other hometown friend and I don’t go a day without texting each other. At the end of the day, you have to figure out what works best for your friendship and keep the relationship growing and blossoming.
The Butterfly Tour hosts, Alyssa Silva and Samira Francois, were two best friends who preached living life with your best friends. In a way, I look up to them now and hope my friends and I are able to achieve that long-lasting friendship.
Don’t Let embarrassing moments get in the way
Keynote speaker Smith preached staying true to yourself when trying to create content, despite any embarrassing moments that may come out of it.
Instead of thinking about this through a content lens, I decided to take this as a life lesson. There are going to be times in life when you’re afraid your actions will embarrass you. Not pushing yourself to make friends with the girl sitting next to you in class because you’re embarrassed you’ll say the wrong thing, and not going to that job interview because you’re afraid you’ll embarrass yourself since you’re not the most qualified for the position are just two examples of how you can limit yourself because of the fear of embarrassment.
In short, go for it. Don’t let what could happen stand in the way of trying. If you don’t try, you can’t say you accomplished anything.
look ahead, not to the sides
The biggest advice that Smith gave during her speech was to imagine life like it was a race. During the race, you’re not going to look at the other racers; you’re going to continue to look forward towards the finish line.
It’s incredibly hard to go through life without comparing yourself to others around you. Comparison, however, is the thief of joy. If we’re constantly comparing ourselves to others, either in real life or online, we’re taking away from the greatness we can achieve.
Instead of wondering what your class friends got on their exam, comparing your Instagram likes to an influencer’s or staring in your mirror comparing yourself to the model you watched during the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show the other night, focus on becoming the best version of yourself. Become what YOU want to be, not what others are.
In the age of social media and expectations for a perfect self, looking forward to the ultimate goal is key. Happiness is the most important thing, not the likes and comments on Instagram.
Smith’s words resonated with me deeply. Being in the journalism field has you comparing yourself to others all of the time. You need your work to look better than your competitors, you need to publish the content quickly and you have to somehow be original.
Going forward, I know that the dreams I hold are the ultimate goal. In order to reach that goal, I need to keep looking forward. Not back, not to the left and not to the right.
stop expecting other people to invest in you, without first investing in them
These words from McKeon have stuck with me since she first spoke them on stage. This was easily the most important advice I took away from the night.
As someone who seriously struggles to start conversations sometimes, but ends up being a chronic yapper if you speak first, this is something I have to put more effort into achieving. You cannot expect other people to come up to you if you’re sitting alone in a corner – you have to put effort into your relationships.
I love complaining when people don’t speak to me at events, but the thing is, they could be complaining about me, too. Instead of going through life wondering what could have been if I spoke to someone, McKeon’s advice taught me to just go for it.
Her Conference’s Butterfly Tour at Penn State left me with some valuable life lessons, but above all, it was a night that I was so glad to have spent with my favorite people: My Her Campus at PSU ladies. Laughter, photos and of course, the tote that I impressively caught are all lasting memories of an event I am so honored to have attended.