Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the activities that set my tone of mind.
By reading Gillian Anderson’s “Want”, which is an anonymous collection of women’s fantasies, I find myself fantasizing more.
When I have fun personal projects, I find myself thinking quickly and making constant additions to my work. My thoughts become ambitiously passionate, and they revolve around what I can create next.
As I play my guitar twice a week, my thoughts become filled with new songs; I race home from class, and my only desire is to play.
Your actions program your brain to focus on and think in line with the activities you do. Reading about politics will leave you passionate and upset. Reading about fantasies will leave you fantasizing. Such things set the tone of your mind and prompt you to think in certain ways.
Take advantage of this. As soon as you realize this fact, you can begin to see what affects you. Meaning you’ll begin to understand what makes you think the way you do.
From this, discover what makes you feel good and commit yourself to such practices. In understanding what outlets inspire you, make you feel somber, passionate or even lustful, you can spend your time on outlets that make you feel the best. Basically, you get to choose how you want to feel.
The Contrary
Often, we find ourselves using people as outlets, and too often, we fail to realize when such an outlet has gone bad or no longer makes us feel good. We feel a challenge and try to fix it.
When we abstract ourselves to tackle this ‘challenge’, we too often become consumed by it, as we ourselves become the challenge. We try so hard to make complicated relationships feel right. What can we do when we can’t escape this cycle?
Being able to focus on inward outlets, such as certain books or passions, is self-serving. It allows you to spend time with yourself and decide how you feel about something. Self-serving outlets are a useful escape from our typical everyday brains that get caught up in how others feel about us. Instead of focusing on ourselves from someone else’s perspective, we focus AS ourselves.
Spend extra time making your food just the way you like it. Organize your closet so you can look at it and feel accomplished every day. Create an album of photos you love to look back on, and remember to look back on it. You have to act and feel good to actually feel good.
Little tasks like this may seem like a chore or annoying, but these minuscule ways of seeing yourself in everyday rituals are key to staying grounded and centered around yourself instead of others. These little details constantly make you think inward and recognize yourself, even when others don’t.
To attain this, you must eliminate the space between thought and action. Move smoothly and don’t dwell too much on the little things within your daily life. Remain present by acting on every thought you have. Save nothing “for later.” At some point, you must stop thinking and simply do. Think-Do.
This practice works especially well if you’re trying to get over someone. Let’s say you can’t stop thinking about them, you’re upset all the time, etc, etc. Creating outlets for yourself in the world shifts you from focusing on someone else’s voice to your own.
You become contained to your mind and body, you listen to and act on your own thoughts. You already feel what is right without trying to define the rules.
All in All
If you become in tune enough with yourself and your mind’s focus, you can detach yourself from caring about others by choosing not to focus on them. Your brain starts to center around what you know will make you feel good, and you will not want to give this feeling up. Act always as yourself and choose if something deserves your focus.
If you know you need to escape the way you’ve been thinking, but can’t, spend more time identifying and actually trying. Or stop trying and simply be. Again, eliminate the space between thought and action. And if you can’t do any of these things, fake it till you make it; eventually, your mind will catch on.