I’m now in my 6th semester of college and during this time my mental health has encountered many ups and downs.That being said, I wanted to talk a little bit about mental health and share my experiences with others. This isn’t going to be a “do these 5 things to relieve stress” kind of article (and no hate to them I’ve used them plenty of times), but rather a deep dive into what it’s really like to be a college student or rather just a person who struggles with mental health.
I should preface that I live with anxiety and ocd, but I’ve also had times where I have encountered depression as well. My anxiety is something that at one point really was taking over my life and is unfortunately something that I’m always a bit too aware of. Racing thoughts that never seem to quiet have always hung around in my mind. This can make certain aspects of my life very difficult, like falling asleep alone in a quiet room, concentrating during a lecture or focusing on a task. I think many people just kind of think of anxiety as being a little extra nervous about things and not something that encompasses every corner of my life. These thoughts can feel so real and debilitating that it causes me to feel stuck and affect my ability to handle daily tasks. For example, I may start worrying about all the work and assignments I have to do and then I’ll go on a whole spiral and panic and feel too overwhelmed to start anything which will then only lead to more stress in the end.
I often experience physical symptoms from my anxiety too like tics, headaches, stomach aches, body pain from tension and teeth grinding. My shoulders are in an almost constant state of being raised and tense and my jaw is always clenched. My body never really turns off and relaxes ever because I even hold those tense positions in my sleep too.
Additionally,I am constantly questing and overthinking every interaction I have with people. Did I say the wrong thing? Is that really what they meant? Are they mad at me? Am I annoying them? Did I sound weird when I raised my hand? Is my body language too aggressive right now? You get the point…it’s a lot. This can cause strains on relationships since I’m so convinced I’m upsetting or annoying people. I need a lot of reassurance,which not all types of people can provide. This has led to having lots and lots of failed friendships and relationships.
I say all of this not to say, “look at me, my life’s so hard”. Rather to let other people know that what they’re feeling and experiencing is normal and that they’re not alone. I also want to provide insight into what it feels like to have these anxious and OCD-like thoughts.
Navigating college with anxiety is definitely not easy. As I mentioned above it can make lots of simple tasks or activities more difficult than they should be, like completing assignments, organizing my schedule, attending lectures, and participating in class and clubs. It is by no means impossible though. It’s important to not let anxiety take over your life and to show it who’s in charge. Will it be fun all the time? No. Does it suck that some of us have to deal with having a brain that sometimes works against us? Very much so. But it just makes us stronger and the pay off when we get our degree will be even greater because we know what we had to overcome to get to that point. Don’t be afraid to get help if you need it. You’re not alone!
