The renowned English author, H. G. Wells, once said, “Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break.” One of the most important lessons we learn in life is how to pick our battles, when to compromise and when to just let it go. I firmly believe there are a few things you should never have to compromise.
1. You should never compromise on the future you want.
Every day, we make decisions that either support the future we see for ourselves or work in contrary to our goals. Decisions like whether or not to go to class, how long to put off an assignment, or going out or staying in to study matter in the long run more than I care to admit. It can be hard to surround yourself with people who respect and support you in your future goals, and it can be difficult to tell someone that as much as you would love to spend time with them, you have to get work done. They may something like, “Why don’t you just finish it tomorrow?” or “But you’re always working,” and that is when you have to step back and remember that your future is too important to compromise on.
2. You should never compromise on your beliefs.
We live in a culture today where everybody has different a view on everything. If there is something that is important to you, stand up and defend it. If you practice a religion, be proud of it. If you don’t, that’s okay too. You shouldn’t feel pressured to behave a certain way because of who you are around. If something offends you, say something. I, for one, cannot and will not stand the use of “retarded” as a derogatory descriptive term, and I will call someone out in conversation if they use it. Many times, someone who doesn’t share the same values or beliefs as you may say something to the effect of “Chill out,” or “It’s really not that big of a deal,” but it is. Our beliefs and values are at the core of what makes us who we are, and that is something you should never compromise on.
3. You should never compromise on what makes you happy to please others.
I am a people-pleaser. I want everyone to be happy with everything that I am doing at all times, even if it means that I don’t love my decisions. This is not a healthy behavior. There are times you must put yourself first. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be flexible and compromise on things like meeting times or dinner plans, but these are only little things. Going to somebody else’s favorite restaurant for dinner may not make you infinitesimally happy, but there’s a good chance that it’s not going to destroy your night either. However, if you have to choose between something that makes you happy and something that somebody else wants that’s going to make you miserable, you need to choose you.
I am still learning to find a balance in compromise, and I’m sure many of you are, too. The best advice I can give you is to hold on to yourself. Staying true to yourself, what you believe and what you need are the best ways to ensure your own well-being while you begin to navigate these complex relationships.
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