An Open Letter to my Freshman Self

Dear past me, 

 

We made it to college. 

You are living a life you definitely never could have imagined. Even you, with your wildly wandering imagination, could not have drawn this up for yourself. 

But here you are. 

 

New people, professors, workload, weather, customs, standards, emotions…

A new home. 

It all seems so daunting. 

But past self, I am here to tell you that you are going to get over feeling lonely all the time. 

You are going to find friends, whether that be in your suite, your classes, in clubs, or at church. And guess what? You are going to think that every single one of those friends hated you at first. 

Insecurity is a parasite that latches onto you and those around you in every aspect of life. 

 

Here’s a weird concept that you know, but will never, ever be able to accept; everyone is out of their comfort zone during this time. 

No one has it together. In a couple months time, you will start to learn that no one was having “the best time ever” during orientation. The happiest people that you are watching from afar might be crying themselves to sleep. Some people are so homesick that it hurts. Other people are so happy to be starting this new life for themselves and they want to meet you. They want to be friends with you. Get out there and be yourself. Life is waiting for you. 

 

Past self, don’t worry about the few times you cry. There will be plenty more where that came from. You are going to feel heartbreak, true friendship, pain like never before from climbing up so many stairs, confidence from your new tan, anxiety when you feel like there is not enough time in the world to do all of the things you need to… This is all inevitable. 

 

You are going to find your very best friend. 

You’ll find spiritual mentors. 

You will crush hard on guys and create unhealthy, future plans for the two of you (no surprise there). 

And you’ll find God like you never have before. 

 

Please, past self, take risks! 

Go hang out with that extroverted person who casually extends an invitation to hang with their friend group. Do your homework at the beach. 

Find people to go with you to on campus events even when your closest friends don’t want to. Leave campus when you can!

Basically, past self, you are going to be just fine. 

Even though you don’t feel that way now, keep that small flame of hope alive in your heart. Soon there will be people who will fuel that flame until it grows so big that there is no way you can feel the cold loneliness you do now. 

Be patient. 

 

And remember to take all of your online tests!

 

With all of my love, 

Future you 

Photo by Kimson Doan on Unsplash