I am so unbelievably sick of the “chill” girl. Being a woman is awesome. We feel things deeply, express our emotions openly, and we are a pretty essential part of continuing human existence. If all women decided not to have kids, the human race would literally go extinct. Thats pretty damn powerful, right? So, my question is, if we have all this power, why the hell are we taught that we have to be “chill” for men to like us? Why are we taught that our self-worth is dependent on whether or not men want us or find us attractive? I decided to write this article because I’m really sick of being made to feel inferior if I am single. I am tired of girls being watermarked ‘crazy’, and I’m tired of girls being told that in order to get a boyfriend, we have to be “chill”. Well I’ll let you in on a little secret: being “chill” sucks.
Trying to be a “bro” won’t get you a boyfriend. Being “chill” means, you can drink beers and crack dirty jokes with the guys. You can watch sports with the guys and eat pizza, not worrying about your health or if you’ll gain weight. Being “chill” means you look like a straight dime without even trying, no makeup. You would never get mad at guys for anything, and you don’t care about having girl friends because you ‘agree, girls are totally crazy’ and ‘you’re not like that’. Congratulations, you’re the one normal girl out there! You win absolutely nothing, except the respect of some basic dudes. [Yeah, being basic exists for men, too.] Being “chill” means you don’t expect anything from men; they don’t have to pay for you when you’re on a date, and they don’t have to open doors for you, either. You would never be so high maintenance.
Do men have to do these things for us? No, but it is polite. I mean, I hold doors open for people and I sometimes offer to buy my friends coffee. Let me also just bring up a few points… men’s clothing is much less expensive than women’s, [most] men do not buy makeup or other beauty products like curling/straightening irons, men don’t have to buy tampons, and they certainly don’t have to buy bras. Yeah, all that stuff is painfully expensive- and needs replenishing, so if a guy wants to pay for my drink, I’m probably going to let him. That being said, its important that we always be polite and say thank you and not be greedy. Anyways… being “chill” basically means you don’t have a personality. I definitely try to surround myself with people who have personality. You’re essentially molding yourself into what you think someone else wants you to be, and it’s actually kind of desperate when you think about it.
My favorite question to ask is, ‘what’s your passion?’ I never asked this question to others until someone asked me, and I was so impressed by it. The answer to this question has the potential to make or break my relationship with the other person- friendly or romantic. I love seeing the way someone’s face lights up when they speak of their passions. Everyone is so different, so why are women trying to be this generic “chill” girl for men? Its very silly. The only way to have meaningful relationships is not to hide from yourself. If who you are is “chill”, that’s awesome. I’m certainly not suggesting that anyone who is naturally a relaxed person has no personality. What I mean is that you shouldn’t mask who you really are or try to mold yourself into what you think others want, or something you just aren’t. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re crazy because some things upset you, or because you’re… gee, I don’t know, expressing human emotions? I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it’s not “cool” to be an emotionless robot. It’s not weird to have or express emotions. What is weird, is pretending that you don’t have emotions and to act like things don’t affect you, when they do. When you open yourself up to your emotions, you start to truly feel things, and it’s the most enjoyable way to live life. The only way we can appreciate the happiness in life, is to also feel the pain that it can bring. So if someone wants to call me ‘crazy’ because I live a passionate life, go ahead.