Since the pandemic started last year, I’ve noticed that I’ve had more and more depressive days. Every other week, I find it harder and harder to get out of bed and get myself put together for a long day of Zoom classes and meetings. The more I tried to tell myself that I was fine, the more I struggled. Soon, I started noticing a pattern about what my body and mind were telling me each time those days came around.
I did not eat or drink any fluids. I also tended to take really long showers and then immediately get in bed after. I would also spend hours on my phone instead of doing anything that might help me feel better. I also didn’t talk to friends or make an effort to listen or watch anything that helped stimulate my brain.
These are some of the things I do now whenever I have these days:
1. Take a shower sitting down
The biggest thing I’ve noticed is that I’m very tired on these days. While I definitely have to force myself to get out of bed, I also noticed that standing in the shower took a lot of effort. I didn’t really clean myself when I was taking a shower on these days, I mostly just stood under warm running water. So I decided to sit down while taking these “showers”. The water running down on me helped calm me down but as I got warmer, I’d inevitably stand to cool off and then sit down again. The cycle continues till I feel like it’s time to get out of the shower Sitting in the shower definitely helps it feel more meditative and personal. It helps me to stay grounded because a lot of my body is touching solid ground and it also helps me focus on the water.
2. Bringing lots of water and snacks for myself
I’ve also noticed that I almost never leave the bed when I’m having these days. When I’m done showering, I usually go grab myself snacks that I don’t mind eating in bed,and grab as much water as I can so I can put them all next to my bed for easyaccess. This allows me to snack on things without much effort, and I also manage to stay decently hydrated without moving.
Since I know that I don’t like leaving my room when these days roll around, I try to do as many things as I can before I get into bed to wallow in my own thoughts. I also don’t let myself feel bad about having these days. I keep telling myself, “It’s just today. You just need to eat, drink water and sleep this day off.” And for the most part, it does help.
3. Keeping a book/my Kindle nearby
The biggest thing my brain is looking for during a Depression Day is some mindless stimulation which is very easy to seek for on apps like Tiktok and Instagram. But the problem with those apps for me is that it still feels like some sort of human interaction, which tends to drain me more than anything else. I find myself going on those apps anyway and then tiring myself out very easily.
So to replace that, I’ve started reading familiar books again because the familiarity makes the process almost mindless. It provides just enough stimulation for me to imagine things without me having to discover something new or dissect new information.
4. Force myself to get out of bed
Towards the end of the day, I try to force myself out of bed because staying in bed all day makes me feel gross. I don’t necessarily force myself to do tasks, but I want to make sure that I take a walk around my space and get out of bed before I actually get into bed to sleep for the night.
Forcing myself to get out of bed towards the evening gives my body something to do and will eventually help me feel more tired when I get in bed for the night. Since I won’t have a lot of energy by then anyway, the simple task of sitting somewhere or walking around will tire me out enough so that when it’s time for bed, I will actually get a good night’s rest.