As little kids, we always had this fantasy of having the perfect roommate — the one who is with you through the darkest times; the person who would be the auntie to your kids. But what happens when your roommate is the complete opposite?
As college students, we don’t have the luxury of avoiding those realities. Sadly, our lives can’t be a Disney Channel movie where the polar opposite girls become friends at the end of the film.
The “Clean Divide “
Who would have known that these first couple of weeks were just the honeymoon period? Clothes are everywhere, trash is overflowing because they said they would “get to it when they can,” and suddenly, their habits become reality. That’s the definition of a messy roommate.
We all understand that there are days when we can be lazy, but a habit becomes a routine. It’s hard because, even though it’s not your side of the room, you have this urge to clean everything from top to bottom. Forget a deep cleaning; the room needs a new person entirely.
This is a problem that most girls in college have: the constant need to tell your roommate to help you clean when they already see you doing it. But who are you to tell someone else their own habits? My suggestion is to double-check that your potential roommate likes to clean regularly and knows how to do it.
Cleanliness isn’t even the biggest part of coexisting with someone new. It’s all about space, and once in a while, you need a lot of it.
Velcro Sisters For 8 Months
There’s the saying that your roommate becomes your friend and then a sister. But as a sister, we hate it when our siblings take our clothes without asking, so why would it be okay for a roommate to do it just because we live together?
With these roommates, you have to be the “big sister” of the relationship, which leads to constant dread. That lifestyle is like the song “Every Breath You Take” by The Police — a bond so powerful that you might die, and one more step could send you straight back home.
Try to breathe. Remember that this person likes you, not hates or envies you. You’re one step closer to building a stronger relationship without becoming too closely tied together.
Sisters for life when you meet your roommate freshman year of college, but sadly, sisters are picky and have a strong influence on our reality.
ICe Cold Silence
Instead of communicating, they place their worries onto you, act annoyed, and pretend to forget things because you didn’t do what they wanted. This type of childish behavior can make living together even more stressful.
It can be hard to express yourself when there’s this dark cloud telling you there’s something wrong with them. What happened to having friends who ask you how you are instead of making every little problem about them? It’s troubling to think that everything they say or don’t say is a target right at you.
Don’t allow others to deter you from your goals. You know yourself better than anyone, so don’t allow one person’s opinion to change who you are.
Set the standard
Even though they aren’t perfect, you have the choice to be a better person.
Always communicate. Even when they don’t want to be the better person, you can choose to be. It can be surprising how college students come from different households and may have completely different ideas of basic respect.
The biggest thing is: don’t match their energy. Stay calm. Talk to someone and allow them to listen to both perspectives, whether that is your family or your friends. Always ask for advice. It is better to get advice than to carry a heavy heart.
Be self-aware and don’t allow other people to walk over your soul. Don’t allow someone else to run you out mentally or physically.
Even though we are adults, we are still young adults learning about relationships, communication, and how to live with different people.
what to demand for yourself
Living with someone sounds fun until you realize that you have to coexist with them for eight months. College is about learning how to turn hell into heaven, and that is not only through your roommate — it is through you and how you choose to experience college by yourself.