Girlbosses Are In Long-Distance Relationships

Don’t get it twisted– I definitely wish I could see my partner more than once every few weeks. I envy the couples who can experience the mundane, everyday moments of college life together without having to plan weeks in advance. I miss my partner all of the time, and that sucks. But honestly, after being in this relationship for almost a year now, I can also say that there are many aspects of being long-distance that I have grown to love. 

self-discovery

With a semester and a half left of college, I have only gotten more busy. As an upper-classman, I am now in leadership roles, upper-level classes, completing internships, all-in on my honors project, working, and thinking about my future after graduation. I am also trying to make time for my friends, family, and the hobbies that make me happy. I would say that I am a driven person, and my partner is the same way. He is studying engineering, and school is very important to him. On top of this, he is playing a collegiate sport, applying for and completing internships, and also spending time with loved ones and on hobbies. 

What I have noticed in other college couples is that sometimes, they can get completely wrapped up in each other–especially at the beginning of the relationship. They choose to spend all of their time together, and that leads to pushing away their friends and responsibilities. As fun as it would be to be able to see my partner whenever I wanted, I am also a firm believer that the entire point of college is self-discovery. We are not only here to learn about our major, but also to learn about ourselves, who we want to become, and what we believe in. This is an incredibly formative point in our lives. There’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship in college, but it should not become your identity.

It’s obviously possible to avoid this happening while going to the same school, but being long-distance definitely makes it easier. We are both able to fully focus on our own goals, while knowing that we get to give each other updates at the end of the day. We can be present in the other relationships in our lives–because they are just as important–and also be present when we do get to be together. 

trust, communication, & Effort

My partner and I met at Ohio State because he grew up in Columbus, but he goes to school about two hours away. While we were getting to know each other, we visited each other when we could, but for the most part, we were long-distance. 

After dating for a while, both of us talked about how scary this was at first. Especially in this generation of dating, it can be hard to fully trust that someone is committed in the same way that you are. Being long-distance, we had no other choice but to trust each other. By the time we became official, we had already built a strong foundation and healthy communication skills that have only made the relationship that much easier and more successful.

I also liked that being long-distance showed me he cared enough to put in the necessary effort. We had genuine conversations every day. He visited me, even if it meant driving two hours after a full day of classes and a baseball game. Because we had to plan in advance every time we hung out, our friends and families knew about or met the other person before we were even dating. All of this reassured me that he actually wanted a relationship and he had the initiative to make it work. 

valuing time together

My partner and I are usually pretty good at looking ahead at our schedules and figuring out when we can see each other. No matter how long it will be until the next time, it always gives us something to look forward to amidst our busy college lives.

Because we don’t get to see each other whenever we want, we have learned to value the time we do get to spend together. Whether we are trying a new breakfast spot, doing activities like ice skating, or spending hours doing nothing but talking to each other, we take extra care to make sure we are spending quality time together. Because we don’t get to have it as much as other couples, every day we spend together is so much more special. 

we got this!

Now, I know it might be a little easier for me to look on the bright side of being in a long-distance relationship. Really, a two hour drive is nothing compared to what a lot of other long-distance couples deal with. No matter how hard it may be sometimes, this list of upsides can help when you start to miss your partner a little extra. Just know that if your relationship is meant to work out, and both of you continue to put in the effort, it will– despite the distance. And in the meantime, continue to strive for your goals, spend time with the people who are around, and focus on being the girlboss that you are!

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