First things first:
No, she does not have it all together.
I know it looks like she does.
She walked into the Student Center with the flawless lace front,
The tote bag that somehow always matches the outfit,
An iPad tucked under her arm,
And enough confidence to make you question every life decision you’ve ever made.
By Friday, she’s posting, “Blessed to announce…”
With another leadership position.
Saturday, she’s outside.
Sunday, she’s dressed for church.
Monday, she’s back on campus looking like she got eight hours of sleep and peace of mind.
Baby, she cried last week, too.
College is weird because everybody is “somebody”
Before you even learn where the science building is.
Everybody already seems connected.
Everybody already has friends.
Everybody already knows the parties.
Everybody already knows what organizations to join.
Everybody already has somebody taking pictures of them at the Spartan statue.
Meanwhile, you’re still getting lost trying to find your class.
And don’t even open Instagram after your first involvement fair.
Now everybody’s posting green jackets,
Executive board photos, professional headshots,
Internship announcements, scholarship emails,
Birthday dinners, brunches, matching pajamas, girls’ trips,
“A day in my life…”
Everybody looks booked. Everybody looks beautiful.
Everybody looks… certain.
Until you realize Instagram has never posted anybody’s panic attack.
Nobody posts the rejection email.
Nobody posts the FAFSA stress.
Nobody posts calling home because they spent their last meal swipe.
Nobody posts sitting in the library wondering if they’re smart enough to stay here.
Nobody posts crying in the communal bathroom because they’re lonely.
Nobody posts changing their major for the third time.
Nobody posts praying before opening Blackboard.
Nobody posts that.
So, stop comparing your “behind the scenes” to somebody else’s highlight reel.
And while we’re here, please don’t spend your freshman year trying to become “that girl.”
Become “your” girl.
The girl who speaks to people.
The girl who applies anyway.
The girl who introduces herself.
The girl who claps when another woman wins.
The girl who wears the quick weave because she likes it
Not because she’s trying to keep up.
The girl who can go to the kickback,
Or stay in her dorm watching Netflix,
And still know she’s enough.
Because here’s the truth nobody tells you during orientation:
The girls everybody knows freshman year
Aren’t always the women everybody respects senior year.
Character catches up. Every single time.
So yes, take the pictures.
Wear the outfit.
Install the lace front.
Go to the party.
Join the organization.
Apply for the internship.
Fall in love with your campus.
Just don’t lose yourself trying to look like everybody else while you’re doing it.
Because four years from now,
Nobody is going to remember who had the best wig install.
They’ll remember who made them feel seen.
And trust me
That’s a much harder thing to be.