Over the years, I’ve struggled to find the words, confidence, and explanation as to why I felt certain ways in day-to-day life, which I wasn’t observing in anyone else – friends, family, online, etc. This incredibly isolating feeling resulted in my feeling alienated from many aspects of my life: “Why am I so sensitive to others’ emotions (a feeling almost beyond empathy)?”, “Why does conflict take such a great mental and physical toll on me?”, “Why do the smallest and most basic of emotions become almost unbearable for me?”… This gap in my self-identity was always daunting to me and inexplicable even to myself. That was until I came across an article about Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) – with every sentence that I read, with every nod of the head in agreement with the writer’s experiences, I realised that I had finally found the missing piece in my confusion. In this article, I’d like to share what it means to be a Highly Sensitive Person and how to identify whether you are one. I hope this helps to answer some questions for the unknowing, help find peace for those who are similarly confused about their sensitivity, and, most importantly, increase awareness of this trait – which by the end of the article, you will find out is more of a strength than a weakness.
So, What is a Highly Sensitive Person?
‘HSP’ is actually a scientifically coined term by Elaine Aron in the mid-1990s, used to describe a personality trait with increased sensory processing sensitivity. Interestingly, about 30% of the population is Highly Sensitive, however sensitivity remains a relatively new concept in psychology and much remains to be researched about the trait. Despite this, what is known is that HSPs have an increased sensitivity to the environment, both internal and external, and that these people are especially strongly affected by what they experience. This is not to be mistaken for ‘sensitivity’ synonymous to merely being ‘emotional’, or introversion, as although these often underly the HSP character and share several features, they can be considered sub-divisions of what the HSP experiences. How sensitive you are is partly biological and partly environmental (such as your upbringing), but science shows that HSPs are more likely to have increased activity in brain areas related to empathy, emotion, and reading social cues, making them highly alert and attuned to themselves and the people around them.
How Do I Know if I am a HSP?
Similar to empaths, as a HSP you may find yourself as an emotional sponge to others’ emotions – that is, you ‘absorb’ and immediately sense the room’s mood, likely noticing the subtleties of facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language. This can be very emotionally draining, so it HSPs often seek alone time to reset after social interactions.
Picking up on such minor cues also feeds into the inevitability of overthinking, especially when reflecting on your own experiences. You may find yourself to be a deep thinker, often zoning out in thought replaying a scenario or even creating a new one, and interrupting this almost meditative state can be very infuriating. Unfortunately, this deep thinking also comes with being prone to negative overthinking and anxious thoughts, which is one of the factors behind the fast-changing moods of a HSP.
All of this attentiveness and emotional attachment to everyday situations leads to a greater encoding in memory, meaning that not only do HSPs find they have a more complex and detailed long term memory, but they also tend to feel nostalgia more intensely than the average person. Both a strength and a weakness, nostalgia for HSPs can be both empowering and consuming, and one may often find themselves unexpectedly switching moods at a certain smell, intrinsic feel, or sound – often difficult to describe.
Downtime is of high importance to HSPs, and the most effective ways of recharging their senses for many can be spending time amongst nature or listening to music, particularly due to their intense emotions and sensory experiences which make these experiences deeper and profoundly restorative to the overactive HSP.
Is it All Bad?
I’d like to conclude this article by saying that some of the characteristics mentioned above almost inevitably come with their hardships and difficulties when it comes to ‘fitting in’ to society and finding your place in the ‘norm’, but that does not equate to High Sensitivity being a weakness or a disability – it is the simple lack of inclusion and openness to such sensitivity that we come across in everyday life which can lead to feelings of marginalisation and the temptation to suppressing this quality when it comes to feeling things differently to those around you. However, being a HSP comes with many unique attributes, including deep empathy which is a crucial aspect of building meaningful relationships, emotional intelligence from building resilience and coping mechanisms from intense experiences, and a strong sense of intuition which can help guide you throughout life at all stages. Embracing your sensitivity as an important element to who you are is probably one of the most important life lessons for HSPs, and quality can serve as an inspiration for many to utilise sensitivity and their emotions as an empowerment rather than impairment.