May 10th 2021 was Mental Health Awareness Week, and although it is reassuring to see mental health become more acknowledged and recognised within the world, it shouldn’t only be publicised and spoken about during one week per year.
We’re often asked the question “What do you have to be sad about?” You’ve got a place to sleep, food on your plate, friends and family. We’re too privileged to be upset. We’re the lucky ones. But privilege doesn’t terminate the right to be upset, just as poverty doesn’t mean you’ve got a free pass to be upset. In the same way, you don’t have to be a girl to cry. Or be a boy to lift weights. Days, weeks, months, years. It’s not something we can decide or choose to stop feeling. It can feel like a never-ending circle, and trying to escape is such an impossible task. It is uncomfortable, messy, and often a daily battle. As well as often being extremely isolating; feeling unable to talk to your friends or family in the fear of judgement, or being treated differently, or being dismissed entirely. Often your feelings are so overwhelming, and the stigma surrounding mental health sometimes means friendships groups don’t necessarily allow for these vulnerable conversations.
I’m writing this article for the people out there who are feeling isolated and unable to find their voice to share their story.
Your mental health is and will always be the main priority. This can be easily overlooked when taking into account relationships, work-life, and school life. Leading to you losing the battle to your mental health, and taking some serious tolls on both body and mind. It’s ok to not be ok. It may seem on social media that everyone is living their ‘best lives’, but it is essentially just the highlight reel of their world through rose-tinted glasses. The comparison of ourselves at our lowest to others’ highest online will ultimately tear us right down.
It can feel like you’re drowning. It can feel like the voice in your head is so loud you can’t escape as it consumes your thoughts; taunting you, blaming you, screaming at you. As it constantly races around your head like a broken record on repeat, it can be hard to escape when your anxiety is spiralling out of control to the point where it suffocates you. Yet other times it can feel like there is no point in doing what you’re doing, every day, on repeat, for the rest of your life. Wake up, go to work, go to sleep. The struggle to get out of bed can seem like a losing battle a lot of the time, as you become overwhelmed with the feelings of unworthiness and wonder if you actually make any impact or significance to other’s lives.
Just remember that your feelings are just what you have, not what you are. There are times where you can almost be dismissed for what others perceive you to be and feel. Never accept being told what you are feeling is invalid. Having been in this situation before, I know that the one that should feel guilty is the person making you feel so insignificant.
Mental health was, and sometimes still is, being perceived as dramatic or weak, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Nobody can see what’s happening inside your or other’s heads. The stranger walking past you in the street, or the person you meet every week for lunch, or your next-door neighbour. They could all be wearing a façade against even their closest friends and family. Anxiety, Depression, Suicidal thoughts, Eating Disorders, OCD, Bipolar, Schizophrenia, alcohol addiction, and so much more.
Just remember, it will get better. The lower we get will make it harder to see light at the end of the tunnel, and recovering from our mental health seems impossible. But what you are feeling right now is temporary. It won’t last forever, even if it feels that way. Suffering is essential for self-growth, and it inevitably means we can see the challenge we’ve fought and overcome on the other side. When things are really getting bad, it could be best to speak to somebody about it. It can seem like a daunting task when you don’t know who to go to after keeping so much bottled up for years, but small steps can start in entrusting your story to a close friend or family member. It may not be easy to see, but everyone in your life cares about you and just want you to be happy.
A bigger and sometimes scarier step is seeking out professional help. This can seem like such a daunting task, as it means you have to admit to both yourself and a stranger that you have a mental illness. But it can be the biggest step you take in your road to recovery. I think personally, the best thing I’ve done and continue to do for my mental health is to seek out therapy. I couldn’t recommend it more highly.
Just remember you aren’t burdening anybody with your mental health; letting it out will give you that cathartic feeling of weight off your shoulders, and open up all the bottled feelings that have been kept in for so long.
It’s hard. It’s really, awfully, and truly hard. But it won’t be like this forever. You’re not alone.
Take a deep breath. It’s going to be ok.
Places to seek help: