1. I do not go to the gym to pick up guys. “Hey, I’m all sweaty and disgusting, but what are you doing Tuesday night?” If that ever works for a girl who does not have all her cleavage hanging out and isn’t wearing teeny tiny pants, please report back immediately.
2. Don’t make weird noises when you work out. As a nursing major, I feel it is my duty to come up to you and ask you if you are OK.
3. WIPE DOWN YOUR MACHINE AFTER YOU USE IT! You know who you are.
4. After you lift your very heavy weight five times, you will not see any more muscle appear. I promise, so you can stop looking in the mirror after each set you do.
5. If I am on the treadmill next to you and I keep giving you the side eye it isn’t because I am checking you out, it’s just because I want to see how fast you’re going. (if you’re good looking that’s just a bonus)
6. I have been here for an hour and ran five miles, done twenty minutes on the elliptical, and stretched. You have lifted one weight, walked around a lot and got a drink of water. I think I am getting more bang for my buck.
7. Don’t drop your weight and grunt when you are done with it. Please place it nicely back where you found it, the loud clanking noise scares me.
8. Make sure your music is loud enough for me to hear it over my music. I didn’t really like my song choices anyway.
9. Please bring your gallon water jug that you use as a water bottle to the water fountain and fill it up all the way to the tippy top. I don’t have anything to do after I work out.
10. If you are a guy, please do not wear a tighter shirt than I am. We all get it, you are good looking and have an over inflated ego.
11. I play a game called keep my head down and try to never make eye contact with anyone. I have a pretty good record, please don’t awkwardly keep staring at me because it’s hard to run three miles while looking down the whole time.
12. There are fifty open treadmills here, you just had to pick the one next to me? (This doesn’t go both ways though, I have a lucky treadmill and if I am in between two people so be it, I will suffer through)