As an incoming college student, I wish I would’ve known some things beforehand. It was Fall semester of 2018 and as a freshman I thought I had my life all planned out. I had a major picked out, friendships that would remain without minimal effort, and had previously attended an early college, how hard could it be? I was wrong. I found myself in a major I absolutely hated and isolated myself from all my friends. College wasn’t as great as I had imagined it’d be. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
I constantly cried and forced myself to go to class. I would run out the door as soon as class ended and headed back to the comfort of my home. It was that same semester I took a leadership course that although the “how to be a leader” portion of the class skips my mind, there is one thing I learned that I still remember vividly. It’s okay to have an off day and take all the mental health days you need. This is what I’ve learned from it.
There is no shame in not having everything together.
What was not okay was for me to pretend like I did. I remember hyping the semester and saying how much I loved my major and the overall experience of college. I was lying to myself. If I wouldn’t have lied and pretended for so long it would have been quicker and easier for me to realize that I was not happy and that I needed to change for my own good. It’s okay not to know the major you want to pursue immediately. There is no shame in trying out different majors, or even cry out your frustrations.
You need your friends and they need you too.
Although I didn’t want to admit it and I thought refuging myself at home was going to make me feel better it wasn’t. I was feeling alone and discouraged. Running out the door as soon as class ended. Isolating myself from the same friends that could have made the semester more bearable wasn’t the solution. Even denying myself the opportunity to make new friends in class was also jeopardizing my experience. YOU NEED YOUR FRIENDS, AND YOUR FRIENDS NEED YOU TOO. Word of advice you’re not the only one who might feel lost. I learned that hanging out with your friends before class starts or making lunch arrangements made school so much better. Surround yourself with supportive people and friends who will distract you from the stress that comes in a semester.
Mental health days are important.
If you’re going to take anything from this article this is it. The same leadership class taught me that sometimes you need time off. If you need to skip class and ask for the notes later, do it. You need to find ways to prioritize your mental health and recuperate from the stress of it all. I find myself doing this often. If a day was especially difficult and in need of an emergency mental health day, I would excuse myself and head to my favorite park, lay on the grass and just be still. Treat yourself to little motivators that help you get through the day. Set a specific day or time dedicated to distracting yourself. A time where it’s only you doing something that you enjoy to take things off your mind. Take time to analyze your feelings and know that it’s okay to have off days. I can’t guarantee a stress-free semester but having this in mind helped me get through my journey as a lost college student.