Inedible Ambrosia: The Newest Development by Mary Kay

Upon receiving Mary Kay’s Naturally Nourishing Oil, my first thought was concerned as to what its intended use was. Was it supposed to nourish my hair? Face? Hands? The answer was face, but I realized that it didn’t matter. Immediately I knew I wanted this liquid gold covering the entirety of my body.

With two beads of oil carefully placed on the back of my hand, I was hooked on the luxurious mélange of smells that emanated from the glass bottle. The combination caused a surge of vague memories of wildflowers and fruity desserts I had never tried. I was transported by this aroma to a beautiful prairie picnic where heaven felt close and all was well.

Scanning again the glass bottle and its paper packaging, I searched for answers to describe this strange sense of nostalgia. The plain white box with dainty blue flowers did not describe the scent, and neither did its ingredients. Chemical names are listed first, in highest quantity, followed by almond, olive, sesame, sunflower, and rosemary oils in lesser amounts. None of these matched the distinctness of the Nourishing Oil.

I lathered up with a couple more droplets, deviating from the recommended 2 to 3, feeling like a medieval queen who could indulge in bathing with the finest of exotic oils. Only then did it click for me, knowing deep inside that I would probably eat this product if appropriate. Mary Kay had the audacity to compress an entire key lime pie into an oil, and this very fact makes me happy to be alive.

Surely, I will buy this product again, as I have deemed it worthy for the monarchy and the gods. Mary Kay’s Naturally Nourishing Oil resembles an ambrosial pie, and I recommend everyone to experience this heavenly scent.