If you are ever in need of help or support, or even a break from school or work because of poor mental health, this article explores some tips on how to navigate the sensitive conversation with your near and dear ones, one struggling student to another.
For a usual university student, your time can probably be summed up in 20 seasons of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but instead of the family drama, make it about staying on top of classes and extracurriculars, while taking care of your own mind and body. While a healthy amount of hustle is crucial for good morale, staying busy can also distract you from major S.O.S. signals your mind might be trying to tell you. Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to spend an hour every morning journaling by a scented candle, just simple retrospection in your pockets of free time will do.
#1 Listen to your mind and it’s needs
For a little introspection, a good start is to ask yourself simple questions like “what are my goals,” or “what does an ideal day for me look like?”, while keeping in mind that a goal you define for yourself is valid, fluid, and unique to yourself! Try not to let others’ expectations of you tamper with them. You can then move on to explore any thoughts, actions, or circumstances that prevent you from achieving your goals or enjoying your ideal day. Having this conversation with someone you trust or even your therapist (if you have one) can be extremely helpful in gaining some clarity on the subject! Knowing the answers to some of these questions can help you tackle the problem at hand much better. This process would be a hard and tedious one, since it’s all about looking inwards and really digging deep. Don’t be discouraged, and give yourself heaps of credit during this process!
#2 – Build up your conviction
Figuring out and coming to terms with your mental struggles can be hard, let alone talking about it, especially knowing that it is seen and felt only by you. You may encounter fears of being misunderstood, or not being understood at all. To help you validate your experience, I strongly suggest seeking a professional’s help. Not only will their guidance help you in finding new vocabulary and perspectives on your experience, but you can also expect help in processing and working your way through it. Coming from someone who took six months to show up for a counseling appointment after booking it, I can attest to the fact that showing up for an appointment and being vulnerable to a stranger is by no means an easy feat, but is worth it in the long run. Of course, if you are not comfortable with the idea of seeking professional help, talking to someone you trust or someone who has been through something similar, can be deeply fulfilling and validating. At the end of the day, talking to people who strive to understand you without any judgment can help you gain the momentum and courage to have your mental health conversation with others.
#3 – Take a moment to breathe
You might want to take a moment here to breathe and organize your thoughts, and think about why you want to have a conversation about your mental health. If it helps, scribble down what you’re thinking, maybe even rehearse the conversation in your head. Some questions to ponder on are, “why do I feel this way?” or, “What do I need right now?” While it is completely okay to be unsure of some things, be sure of what you know and need. It may be difficult to confront the very fears you’ve been avoiding all along, but you’ve got this, pull through!
#4 – The conversation itself
Your immense mental stamina has brought you here, so don’t lose heart. To make sure you are most comfortable, it helps to decide the time and setting for the conversation. Ensure that the listener has the time and mental headspace to hear you out as well (a simple “Are you free? I’d like to talk about something difficult” would suffice). Be as honest and clear as possible, and try your best to set the emotion apart from the logic in your articulation, especially if you are conversing with your boss or professor. Keep in mind your mental health journey is unique to you, and try not to let any kind of societal expectations keep you from asking for what you need – whether it be extra support in any form, or that vacation and much-needed break that every human deserves and needs at certain points in their lives.
Finally – a reminder – If you are exploring your mental health journey and are committed to it, big props to you! You chose to prioritize your health and peace when it may have been easier to dismiss it and carry on with the hubbub of life as a student, and I couldn’t be prouder!
Do keep in mind that you can always reach out to the University Wellbeing Office and make use of their free counseling services on campus. Just send a mail out to ucc-students@ntu.edu.sg or give them a call at 6790 4462 (during office hours).