“And leave my greatest failures on display with an asterisk Worthy of love anyway.”
Welcome to week four of Enneagram and You with Taylor. This week hits close to home, considering I am a Type Three, aka ‘The Achiever’. During this article, I’ll be covering the basics per usual of a Type Three, along with the unhealthy and healthy versions of this type. I’ll touch a bit on wings of a three, along with including tips to help bring out the best of your type, book, and song suggestions, along with encouraging lock screens and gear made for your type three self! With that being said, let’s jump in.
Type Threes, aka The Achievers, are known for their constant drive of tackling goals and trying their best to climb to the top, where they usually find their selves. Though it can be lonely at the top. Threes are very self-assured with the decisions that they make. They’re ambitious to the extreme, competitive as they come and status-conscious. Threes have a knack for being very poised due to this concern of what people always think of them. Most of the time, many threes have issues with being a workaholic. Aka the girl that’s sitting next to you on her fifth cup of coffee about to stroke over from lack of sleep? She’s a three. She is me.
The Basic fear among the group of Achievers is the feeling of being worthless. Threes need to feel valuable or worth something, reasons as to why they’re constantly working towards new success. With being a three, you can have two different wings. Those being a 3w2 and a 3w4. Type threes with a wing two are known as ‘The Charmer’ and type threes with a wing four are known as ‘The Professional’.
Some examples of well-known threes include Oprah Winfrey, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Brooke Sheilds, Barbra Streisand, Courteney Cox, Demi Moore, Anne Hathaway and Rachel Green from Friends.
Let’s look into and discuss the healthy and unhealthy levels of a three. As per usual, we will start with the healthy levels first.
At their best, threes are self-accepting of their achievements. They don’t put on a front to pretend they’re someone that they’re not just to please, which always makes most threes trendsetters due to their authenticity. They tend to be energetic and full of high self-esteem. They believe in themselves and in their goals and accomplishments! Threes are also full of self-deprecatory humor.
Also, being a three, I’ve noticed stumbling upon other threes are hard. There’s not many out there. Though over the summer I had the privilege of meeting a fellow three, and we hit it off as friends perfectly. She may live almost 15 hours away, but we continue to send each other dark humor and express our plans to conquer the world every day. (But seriously, I usually can’t speak to people for a long time. I hate texting. We literally text each other all day, every day. Get yourself a three. Am I biased? Eh.)
Last week was my first week of adding in average levels of an Enneagram Type, and I got some feedback that a few of you enjoyed it, which is great! I find it helpful to realize if you’re in this particular level because you can pinpoint what exactly you can approve on, and what to watch out for if you’re slipping into a lower level. I myself am at this average level, no doubt. I’ll tell you why. At the average level, Threes are highly concerned with their performance in any setting. They are constantly driving themselves to achieve goals, because to them, their self-worth depends on it. Is that correct? No. You’re so much more than your achievements, and that’s something I really have to work on with myself. With this comes major image consciousness. There is the need to make themselves viewed according to what their self-expectations are, as well are what others expect of them. At this level, threes begin to lose touch with their own feelings and have trouble with intimacy and romantic feelings in general.
At their unhealthiest levels, threes become narcissistic. They fear failure, which means they will do absolutely what it takes to succeed. This brings out devious behaviors in threes, which can lead to the betraying of others and sabotaging of others and their success to gain their place on the leader board. At their absolute worst, threes are vindictive. Meaning others’ happiness is something they don’t particularly care about their feelings if they stand in their own way of success.
Talk about a personal attack, huh? It’s pretty scary when going through your own levels, especially when you can pinpoint certain behaviors you have in the lower levels. Again, the purpose of this series is to help people reach their greatest potential. And that’s what I hope this series does for you. It’s time to reach those goals, succeed and thrive.
Considering this is my type, I’ve already collected a few things that have helped me better myself in the past, and what I plan to help better me in the future.
Grab some tea and read some chapters.
You can read these at night before bed, in the morning with your coffee (my personal favorite) or whenever you need a pick me up throughout the day.
- The Subtitle Art by Mark Manson (I listed this on my week three post, but it’s helped me a TON.)
- The Life-Changing Magic of.. by Sarah Knight
- Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight
- Hustle & Float by Rahaf Harfoush
- Scrappy Little Nobody by Anna Kendrick
Move with the music!
Music is a major key factor in my everyday life, especially when I’m struggling. Or when I’m not! You cannot go wrong with some tunes to make your day better.
- Atlas: Three by Sleeping At Last (This is your personal song written for type threes. Trust me, it’ll feel like a personal attack but it’s crazy how accurate it is.)
- Hallelujah by Oh Wonder
- Maneater by Daryl Hall & John Oates
- You’ve Got Your Whole Life Ahead of You Baby by IDER
- Rainbow by Kacey Musgraves
- Killer Queen by Queen
- NYC Girl by The Orion Express
- Wonder Woman by Kacey Musgraves
- Salty Sweet by MS MR
- All To Me by Shoshana Bean
- Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen
- Work Too Much by Julia Michaels
- Don’t Rain On My Parade by Barbra Streisand
I’ve noticed lock screens help me when I need to be reminded that I’m worthy and what I’m doing is enough. Plus, you can write these on post-it notes and stick them on your mirror for another reminder.
Mugs and More!
Like last time, I’ll be recommending ‘The Sleeping At Last podcast’ over Enneagram Type Three‘. During this podcast, Ryan O’Neal, singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist of Sleeping At Last, will breakdown the song he personally wrote for type threes. Not only this, but enneagram master Chris Heuertz will also give you a deep understanding of your type. Will it feel like a personal attack at times? Probably. Though it’s only to show you where you get your mannerisms from. It’s such a fun and interesting listen. Cool bonus fact; all of the instrumentalists are type threes!
With that, I’ll leave you this week. Please continue to dive more and more into your type, as well as spread the word with your friends and family! Learning more about the people in your everyday life really helps build stronger relationships and gives you insight on how to handle situations with others.
Remember, you are worthy. Your wins in life are not the only thing that defines you. Take a deep breath, pour yourself some team and relax in a bubble bath. You deserve a break sometimes.
Until the next week, go forth and conquer!