Love is undoubtedly one of the most conceptual experiences in a lifetime. Ask someone what love means to them or what experiences in their lives brought love into existence, and you’ll probably collect a variety of answers. Love can mean intimacy, friendship, connection, understanding, safety, and so on. To me, love is a promise. None of these words are alike, though, besides the fact that they can be recognizably hosted under the umbrella that is defining love.
Just as love feels, looks, or sounds differently to everyone in terms of their experiences with this feeling or state of being, we can safely assume that everyone has a different understanding of love. If everyone understands love differently, wouldn’t everyone receive love differently?
While the originality of people and their feelings is something to celebrate, love is typically received in 5 categorized ways. These particular categories are coined as one’s love language.
A love language is how one receives or gives love. Let’s take a close look at each of the five common categories.
Acts of Service
Do you appreciate it when someone goes out of their way to do something for you? Maybe you need help with a task at home, or need some taking care of during a sick day. Acts of service are actions taken by your partner (or anyone) that may not be ideal or necessarily fun or exciting, but they are done to help you and make your life a little easier.
Receiving Gifts
Receiving gifts doesn’t mean you are materialistic, rather you recognize the original thought, attention to detail, and effort it takes your partner to take the time out of their day to get you something they want you to enjoy. You may love physical gifts as this can feel like a piece of your person.
Quality Time
Do you fall closer into comfort and trust with someone the more time you spend with them? This doesn’t mean each time you see them you have a deep, meaningful conversation to strike a bond, but just enjoying each other’s company is enough.
Words of Affirmation
Frequent reassurance and engagement using words might be the way to your heart in aim to make you feel more understood as a person or appreciated. If you value being acknowledged of your efforts or existence, and notice yourself constantly offering verbal advice or affirmations for someone out of love, this is likely your love language.
Physical Touch
Physical intimacy can be a strong indicator of love and feeling cared for. Holding hands, hugging, cuddling, or just feeling physically close to your person may bring a safe and reassuring feeling to you.
While most people receive and give love through all of these methods, it is likely some of these aspects may be stronger for you than others. It can be beneficial to pay attention to how you receive love so you can express this need in relationships, and tend to your partner’s needs as well. Remember, it may not be the case that you aren’t liked or loved, it may be that your partner is loving you how they want to be loved, rather than knowing your needs.
Want to learn more about love languages? Take 5 Love Language’s quiz to better understand you or someone special in your life.