loving can hurt
and that’s all she knew
days, weeks, months pass
and she prayed it would get easier
leave him they’d say
but how could she leave
when the rare moments of happiness
lit up her world like no other
i’ll change, i promise
she held onto those words like a lifeline
because they gave her hope
that it won’t be like last time
even if it always let her down
she hated who she was becoming
never able to smile
i’ll leave this time, i promise
she was fighting herself
only to lose every time
that night, she looked into his eyes
the eyes she stared into countless times
the lump in her throat stayed stuck
i can’t do this anymore
his face stayed blank
if that’s what you want
even if it was a lie
even if she wanted to run into his arms
even if it was never what she wanted
it would be
in time
she’d go on to heal
and she’d go on to smile again
but for now
all she could only think was
how much loving can hurt