Here we are. All I have to ask is, how did we get here?
Fall 2019, I moved in on campus with two roommates I had never met and no clue on what I wanted to do with my life.
Spoiler alert, four and a half years later, my roommates are two cats and a ferret and I still don’t know what I want to do.
Time flew by, I went from taking 100 level classes to 300 and 400 level classes before I knew it. From gen ends to business courses. From the people I met my freshman year to meeting friends who changed my life.
I am now 23 years old, and I’m about to graduate with a marketing major and a creative writing minor. I feel like I have endless opportunities but at the same time, I’m struggling with the job/internship application progress and still struggling with what I want to do, even now. I have more connections than I realized, but have been ‘ghosted’ by nearly all of them. Even ones where I was told they had a position for me.
I have options, I can take a few months at my current job before jumping into a full time position. I can go into sales (which is the last thing I want to do). I can move wherever I want, although I know I want to stay somewhere between Lansing and Grand Rapids. I can go back to school, but now isn’t the right time.
I’ve known for a while now that I wanted to go back for my masters at some point. As reality is setting in, and I’m nearing graduation, the thoughts of grad school are more pressing. However, I know that I need to take time to gain experience and figure out fully what I want to do before I take that leap.
I already feel regret about my major every other week. It’s not the worst thing I could’ve majored in, but sometimes I feel like I could’ve done better. Other times, I feel like I could’ve stuck with doing something I love since I constantly hear of people landing not only jobs, but careers, in fields fully unrelated to their degree.
Now is not the time to drop more money and more time until I am in a field that I am truly passionate about. I can see myself potentially pursuing an MFA or a program specifically for live entertainment management, both would be a dream.
I also am left to wonder, how can I remain creative? How am I going to share my work with others? Spoiler alert again, I still don’t know. I’ve been a writer since elementary school, winning awards for pieces I wrote in classes and folding paper and adding some staples to be able to write my own ‘books’.
As a teenager, I had access to Wattpad and Tumblr where I could share my fiction work, and I became a journalist at 16 for my high school newspaper. Transitioning into college, I found Her Campus where I could continue to write about things that I loved, and I found the creative writing minor where I had the opportunity to write and share my work, even though I rarely took advantage of the chances I had.
I never submitted extra pieces, I rarely went to office hours, I never submitted pieces in calls for work or for awards. As graduation draws near, I regret not taking my writing more seriously when I had the chance.
There is good news though, over the summer I got the opportunity to create the new Creative Writing Club at MSU with an amazing faculty adviser and four other students who were all equally passionate. I landed the role as president and was also able to handle all the marketing and recruiting over social media.
Just as quickly as it started, I’m already almost out. While I wish I had more time, I’m beyond grateful for the experiences I was able to have in the span of just one semester, with one more to go.
There are five things I want to do before graduating:
- I want to share some of my creative writing in some context, whether it be in my current English class, through creative writing club, or another outlet.
- Feel satisfied with my experience. I want to leave behind my mark and leave with as few regrets as possible. I don’t want to leave wishing I had done things differently, after all, I am only 23. I’m going to make mistakes, I’m going to be indecisive.
- Add my professors and classmates on LinkedIn, it’s okay to laugh at this one. I’ve been terrible about updating my LinkedIn, and I’ve accomplished so much and have met many great people who are going to do big things.
- Come to terms with myself. This one is going to be the hardest. It’s time to accept the fact that I’m getting older and that I’m an adult. I have my own apartment, I pay my own bills, I even have three pets of my own. I’m no longer the 18 year old I was when I first started MSU. I don’t want to leave this place that became my home, but at some point everyone has to move on. I still have a long time ahead of me to continue my education and find my passions.
- Take my senior photos. I am so excited to pick up my cap and gown, get a cute dress and shoes, and take photos at the most monumental spots on campus. I’ve wanted a custom grad stole for a while now, and I feel that is going to be the best way to memorize my involvement and accomplishments.
I’m still not quite sure how I got here, or where I’m going next. There are countless things I still haven’t learned, just like there are endless things I have learned over nearly five years.
All that being said, I know that it’s time to have the best semester ever, even though it’ll be full of lasts.