Being broken up with is something that happens to most people when they are growing up. Everyone remembers the first time they got broken up with and how that affected them. It could be as small as we were only together for a few months; it wasn’t that serious to be together for years, and things ended poorly between the two of us. My last breakup was a combination of the two. We were together for a decent amount of time, and things ended very poorly between us. This meant I really struggled trying to get back out there. I didn’t want to get my heart broken and was afraid of what would happen if that did happen again. But I forced myself to get back out there, and that not every man that I was going to meet would break my heart like the last guy. At least that is what I told myself to get the confidence to get back out there.Â
Granted, the first few dates I went on mostly ended with never talking to that guy ever again after that date. I don’t know if that was a sign that I wasn’t ready and needed some more time to work on myself and get myself back to who I was before I got broken up with. I told myself that if this date with a guy went badly, then I would take a break and come back to this at a later date. I was very wrong. The date went so well that I am now in a happy relationship with someone who truly loves every part of me.Â
Getting back into a relationship is hard for a few reasons, but the biggest one is the mental shift. Having to tell myself that this person doesn’t want to break my heart and that he cares about me. I have to keep telling myself that this guy is different because he is. He doesn’t want to hurt me because he knows how hard I was hurt in my last relationship. He is slowly patching up the scars left on my heart and is rebuilding my idea of what a “normal” relationship looks like.Â
I told my sister that this guy is putting more effort into this relationship in the first month of knowing me than my ex did in the nine months we were together. I now fully know what the phrase “If he wanted to, he would” means. He makes me feel like I am important and that my dreams are just as important as his. He brings out a side of me that I haven’t seen in a while, and it is refreshing to see this inner happiness come out. Almost like I am a kid again. Which makes me hopeful that he won’t break my heart.Â