I have been in a relationship with my long-term partner for five years now. These have been the best five years of my life because he is my built-in best friend. For the past two years, since starting at Michigan State University, we have been in a long-distance relationship. He is back in our hometown outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and I am a 317-mile drive away in East Lansing, Michigan. It certainly hasn’t been easy, but nothing worth having is ever easy. Here are five ways I strengthen my long-distance relationship.
1. FaceTime date nights
These are my absolute favorite parts of each week. We pick a day, and that evening, we FaceTime to catch up and about our week, make silly jokes, and spend some quality time together. We watch movies together by starting them at the same time and pausing if we need to. Sometimes we play phone or video games, as well. Currently, we are watching the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) in timeline order. Every week, we watch at least two of the movies and talk about them. It is a super fun time to feel like we are together even though we are hundreds of miles apart.
2. Planning ahead
This might be more personal, because I am a huge planner, but planning things to do for the next time I am home, or when he can drive to Michigan, helps. Whether it is a small date or just saying “hey, next time I’m home, we should do this,” gives me something to look forward to doing with him, especially when I start to miss him.
3. Sharing our days
We text a lot when we can’t call each other because of opposing schedules. One of the things that he started to do at the beginning of our relationship was to always ask how my day was. This has carried into our communication with long-distance because we always recap our days and get to share stories at night. By telling him about my day, I feel like it gives him a piece of being there with me.
4. Lots of pictures
From the wallpaper on my phone to the photos scattered across my dorm room, there are pictures of us everywhere. I adore having pictures of all my favorite memories and people, so having pictures of us to look at every day serves as a great reminder of the fun memories that we have made thus far in our relationship. It also gives me something else to look forward to because I can create new memories and take even more pictures.
5. Making the most of breaks
When I do have the time to see him in person, I always make sure to make the most of it. Breaks and visits can go so fast, so I make sure to block off at least an evening to make sure that we can spend time together and do the things we planned for when I came home. I have learned to cherish each little moment because they go by so fast, but they also give you more to look forward to for next time. It makes it easier to think of it as a “see you next time” instead of a goodbye.
Long-distance isn’t something I envisioned going through for the past two years, but for him, it is 100 percent worth every trial and tribulation. These tips have helped our relationship and strengthened our communication skills drastically in the last two years. The distance, while upsetting and difficult sometimes, has helped foster our relationship, and is arguably one of the reasons we have been together so long.