Being a college student is already stressful: classes, project deadlines, social life, club meetings, exams, sleeping (trying to, at least), caffeine addictions, it can be a lot to balance. Trying to date on top of being a college student is an entirely different level of exhausting: planning dates, trying to decide if they’re too creepy to go out with, feeling out if they’re worth your time, deciphering if they’re worth a second date, or if it’s too soon to sleep together— a million and one questions about “is this right?”. Then, add a global pandemic with a deadly virus on top of that: move classes online, move back home with your parents, lockdown, masks, public places being closed or restricted, and the absolutely dreaded act of downloading an online dating app, because how else are you supposed to meet people during a global pandemic?
About a month after I received my COVID-19 vaccine, school was done. I was single, I was bored, and I was craving some compliments. For the sole reason of wanting to be called pretty (listen, everyone loves a little attention from strangers sometimes), I downloaded Tinder. (It feels good to be called pretty!) I thought I would go on it when I was bored, take my compliments, have sh*tty conversations with sh*tty people, and maybe find someone worth having a summer fling with— or not. Regardless of what I wanted, I would sift my way through the match graveyard and make sure I had fun that summer.
But what the hell do you put on a Tinder profile? I spent probably an hour going through the mess of selfies in my camera roll, trying to find the right balance between personality, confidence, and beauty. How many pictures is too many pictures? Group pictures? Full body pictures? What do I say about myself in a bio? How much is too much to tell? Do I seem interesting? While these may all be things that are just asked when creating an online dating profile in general, it felt so much more tedious during a pandemic, because everyone who wants to date is doing it online right now, there were no other options.
After a little while, I met someone that could actually hold a conversation and my attention. They seemed worth meeting, which meant it was finally time to pop the big question: “Are you vaccinated?”. With such a charged political environment and the anxiety (or lack thereof) about catching COVID, that question holds as much weight as the other big question you probably thought of.
To my delight, they were vaccinated. But vaccinated people were, and still are, at different comfort points in what they want to do and are not yet ready to do. Even despite the difference in comfort levels, there were so many obstacles in the way of planning a date! Business hours were still reduced, masks still required in most spaces, many restaurants were still closed for indoor dining, and the Michigan weather could not be more unpredictable at this time of year.
Movie theatres had just opened back up and there was one at an outdoor mall near us, so we decided to go see a movie. It went well, and we went on follow up dates. Our next dates for about a month were either at parks or spent in cars driving around our good-for-nothing hometowns. Indoor places had just reopened and were always packed beyond our comfort levels, so we spent a lot of time outside.
However, even being careful can lead to illness scares. My date’s band had hosted and played a small concert, which I wore a mask to because I didn’t feel comfortable without one, but no one else wore one (which is fine). About a week after the concert, my date had fallen ill and was convinced it was allergies, but the entire band got sick following their concert. Many of them got tested for COVID, and all came back negative, thankfully. But it still led to me being unable to see my date for a while out of fear of catching this mystery illness.
The COVID scares for us continued throughout the summer: one of us would have headaches or a runny nose, one of their unvaccinated friends would be sick and we couldn’t see each other until the test results came back, or one of their friends would show up to a gathering or a vacation knowingly sick. The last scenario led to myself getting sick right before moving back to East Lansing this school year (it wasn’t COVID though, thankfully).
Now that many pre-COVID activities are back, there is always the looming fear and anxiety about going out and bringing home COVID, which often affects where we decide to go and how protected we feel we must be in order to go out. This usually results in us being the only masked individuals in a given space and getting stares, but at least I met someone who’s also willing to get stared at if it means protecting themselves (and others) from a deadly virus.
Dating during a pandemic has been one of the most bizarre experiences I’ve had to date. There are so many concerns around online dating already (stranger danger, duh), but to add the concern of catching a virus, having the same concerns about said virus, and being on the same page as far as how protected we need to be adds layers of stress to online dating that were never expected to be there. Despite the stress and anxiety surrounding it all, (maybe I’m just lucky) it has been a lovely experience for me. So, if you’re contemplating diving into the online dating world during a pandemic, absolutely, 100% do it.