Dear Comfort Zone,
Given that we have been together for so long, it’s hard for me to know exactly how to start this letter. I could tell you, “it’s not you, it’s me,” which is partially true, but let’s be real; you’ve been holding me back, and I’m no longer fulfilled by our relationship.
I can’t deny that we’ve had some great times together. You and I would watch Friends all the way through for the seventh time or eat Cheerios together morning after morning. We’d keep the same routine, with the same tasks, and the same people. You gave me a sense of security in tumultuous times. You held my hand when the world seemed to fall apart. I can’t thank you enough for that.
The thing is that as I grew up and began to better myself as a person, we were no longer in the same place. You were stuck in the past, convinced we could get the “good ol’ days” back, but I didn’t want that anymore. You managed to lure me a few times, which explains why we’ve stayed together all this time, despite the friction. I know you’re probably asking how this is different from any of the other times I’ve tried to break up with you, but the answer is simply something you could not understand: I crave change.
I am tired of feeling lonely and insignificant, wondering how things could be different if I only put myself out there. I’m done letting you say ‘no’ to opportunities just because you don’t like what they could mean for our relationship. You know crowds scare me and have always told me that “it’s okay to avoid them.” Despite your judgment, I hung out with a large group of people last year (a couple times, actually) and it terrified me. You were persuasive in your argument to say no, but somehow, my resolve and curiosity were even more convincing. I’ve made some of my most incredible friends in that group of people. I didn’t realize it was you who had been keeping me from them all this time.
I’ve gotten more involved in clubs that I care about (shoutout to HCMSU) and have worked to put myself out there, ignoring your voice in my head and saying ‘yes’ to things that scare me. The joy I get when I go against you is incredible! I don’t quite understand it, but I do know that it’s not to spite you. I simply think that I’ve found a better fit for me in a world of possibilities.
We’ll still be friends after this, although I understand if you ignore me for a while. I just know that there will come a time when we need each other – you’ll need someone to comfort, and I’ll need to be comforted. You’ve never been bad in small doses, so there’s no reason to give you up completely. At this point in our relationship, we have to agree to disagree on some things, accepting that we’ll never become what we were.
Calculated risks are okay, but you always avoid them because they still suggest a level of risk. What you don’t realize is that risk is where the magic comes from! Yes, we were happy, but there wasn’t ever a spark. There wasn’t magic. And so, to end with one more cliché, I need you to know that it’s just not meant to be between us. You’re not the most important thing to me anymore.
I’ll miss you… but not as much as you’ll miss me.
Sincerely,
Katie