Everyone knows that life changes after high school. You’re essentially seen as an adult now and set into the real world. In college, you experience these changes firsthand. Being away from home for extended periods during the year is typically a vacation, but when you’re in college it’s a business trip. You quickly have to learn to balance your education, career, social life, and mental health- all while trying not to lose what valued back home. However, this balance is easier said than done.
While being away at college, you subconsciously form a disconnect between who you are now and who you were before you arrived on campus. Every day you learn new things, experience new problems, and find new solutions. You meet new people, discover new likes, and accept new dislikes. You get comfortable with who and what satisfies you on campus. So when you go back home on holiday breaks, you feel lost.
Your house feels like home, but your room doesn’t feel like it’s your own. Your family is still a family, but you’ve missed so many occasions. Your friends are still there, but college has ingrained a new way of thinking into them as well. Your freedom feels compressed. Your independence feels threatened. You don’t feel like yourself anymore and you feel like no one will understand how you’re feeling. There are people around you, the same people that have always been, and you’re comfortable, but you’ve not connected anymore. And that’s okay.
It’s okay to feel lonely. It’s okay to outgrow the spaces you were once comfortable in. It’s okay to drift apart from those who were once your best friends. It’s okay not to like the same things you did before you left. It’s okay to hold your independence and freedom to a higher standard now.
It’s normal. And you’re not alone.
It can be hard to accept that everything you once held to high standards has now dropped to lower on your priority list. However, it’s all a part of growing up. Feelings change every day and it’s okay to accept them for what they are. Growing apart from everything you once loved does not mean you love it any less, you just found new things to love more. The quicker you accept it, the quicker that loneliness will turn to peace.